Cubicle geek on phone: So the summation of my weekend is I found out that a bikini waxing strip is not an appropriate solution to a mono-brow.
London
England
Cubicle geek on phone: So the summation of my weekend is I found out that a bikini waxing strip is not an appropriate solution to a mono-brow.
London
England
Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.
Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask.
Portland, Oregon
IT guy to friend: I lost a job and a girlfriend to World of Warcraft…it was so worth it!
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah M.
Disgruntled programmer: I would cut the head off a chicken right now and perform a Santeria ritual in order to get this program to work!
Newtown, Pennsylvania
IT techie working on networking junk: Uh-oh. I ain't communicatin' good.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: I noticed…
Drafting dork: Hey, do you have any binder clips?
Female coworker: Why?
Drafting dork: I want to clip them to my nipples.
Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: I'mNotHazel
Girl nerd: I'd like to buy two cookies and two drinks, please.
Cashier: Okay, that'll be $1.18.
Girl rocker: For two cookies and two drinks? That's not right. That's got to be for one cookie or something.
Cashier: Yes. Wait, you want two cookies and two drinks?
Girl nerd: I'm paying for two cookies and two drinks.
Cashier: Okay, hmm… (thinks for a few seconds, then pushes buttons on the register) Umm…
Girl rocker: She wants two cookies and two drinks.
Cashier: Okay, that'll be $4.45.
Girl nerd: That makes more sense. I was wondering why it was so low.
Cashier, handing them two drinks and one cookie: There you go. Sorry for the confusion! Have a good day.
Girl rocker: We wanted two cookies.
Cashier: Two cookies? I thought you said two drinks.
Girls in unison: We said two cookies and two drinks.
Girl nerd: Did you charge me for two cookies?
Cashier: No, but you can just have the second one. Don't worry. No charge.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Engineer #1: A charred, dark husk of evil smoldering into infinity would be cool.
Engineer #2: I’d prefer the Dyson Sphere. Though I personally find Niven ringworlds much more aesthetically pleasing.
Engineer #1: But a husk!
Engineer #2: A Dyson sphere could be kind of a husk.
Engineer #1: Come on! Spooky husk!
Engineer #2: No! No spooky husk!
Engineer #1: Aww.
Engineer #2: …We can make the Dyson Sphere kind of spooky if you insist.
401 Elliott Avenue W
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Bjorn Townsend
30-something IT geek: Don't worry, you can always buy replacement and upgrade parts for your lightsaber!
20-something IT geek: Good! I was worried that I'd need to build a new one.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Noxi
Boss to office (about imminent website launch): Five minutes to go live!
Boss to sysadmin: Are you going to do anything?
Sysadmin to boss: I'm diabetic, I need a burrito.
Boss to office: Go live delayed for burrito.
Tucson, Arizona
