Chipper cashier, leaving building: Hey, Travis? This is the sound of me leaving you here to die.
Wendy's
Barrie
Canadia
Front desk person in overhead announcement at a busy medical clinic: I need a hearse–no, I'm sorry, I need a nurse from hall three to call the front desk please. A nurse from hall three to call the front desk. Thank you.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: seftiri
Large lesbo on cell: What’s new with me? Oh, nothing too much. Oh wait — yeah, I got a new dog! Yeah, another one. Well, my neighbor was killed in a murder-suicide with her boyfriend, so the dog had post-traumatic stress disorder. Oh, it’s a Irish Settler. It’s pretty cute… A little overweight, though. Besides that, not too much. You know me — work, work, work.
Marriot Hotel Concierge VIP room
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Miguelito Morrison
Coworker on phone: The baby was born retarded because her mother was a vegetarian. Thankfully the good Lord took her away.
Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Lawyer: Did you hear about Vanessa*?
Secretary: No. What about her?
Lawyer: Yeah, poor Vanessa. She woke up dead on July 4th.
Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia
Secretary: All morning I’ve been so happy, singing and dancing and now the whole day is ruined. Oh, I could commit carry harry right now!
Monson Way
Tunbridge Wells, Kent
UK
Overheard by: Benjaminov
Dog owner: I used to have a Rottweiler too, but he died. They don't have very long lifespans.
Coworker: That's because they are fueled by liquid hate and the fingers of small children.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Female HR, about absent coworker: I hope she's just an asshole and not dead.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Justa Temp
Insurance department boss: A death claim is better than a long-term injury.
Merchant Street
Honolulu, Hawaii
