Co-worker #1: Okay, that’s it.
Co-worker #2: What? Tell me that song doesn’t make you want to laugh.
Co-worker #1: It makes me want to shoot someone, then laugh.
270 South Flower Street
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Eric Johnson
Co-worker #1: Okay, that’s it.
Co-worker #2: What? Tell me that song doesn’t make you want to laugh.
Co-worker #1: It makes me want to shoot someone, then laugh.
270 South Flower Street
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Eric Johnson
Paralegal: Good afternoon, [Law Firm name]. How may I help you?
Partner: Wow…Wow. You’ve got, like, a 1-900 phone voice. We’re gonna have to take you off the receptionist rotation. Don’t want to give our criminal clients the wrong impression.
600 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Designer to photo researcher: Try to find a nice child abuse shot.
10801 N. MoPac Expressway
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: always listening
Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?
Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.
Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas
Customer, excitedly: Yeah, if I do exactly as the judge says, I’ll be off of probation in a year!
Old cashier: In a year? Lucky you! My son has four years of probation.
Customer: Four years? Man, that’s tough. What did he do?
Old cashier: He shot someone! [Breaks into hysterical laughter along with the customer.]
South Adams Street
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Just wanted to pay for my groceries
Smoker: Yeah, but the problem is security. I could give her an injection of morphine, but–
401 Gate Tree Lane
Austin, Texas
Newly appointed head of county school superintendent's office: We need to teach out children why they need to know trigometry. (pause) With cooperation from sheriff's real CSI, kids will learn how trigometry is used to solve crimes.
Apple Valley, California
Overheard by: Kittytrix
Guy: The worst part of being a corrections officer is when the prisoners want to fight you.
Suit: Yeah, that seems like it would be dangerous.
Guy: No, it’s just that I hate the paperwork.
327 Lakeshore Drive East
Dunkirk, New York
Elderly overweight coworker: Yes, it was expensive to take a taxi one city block everyday, but I didn't want to get raped.
Young uncomfortable male coworker: No, I don't blame you.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a rapist
