Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?
Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.
Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas
Manager: Did you give up anything for lent?
Underling: Yeah. Stealing office supplies from your company. It may not be much, but I think it’s pretty good considering I’m not even Catholic.
Meacham Boulevard
Haltom, Texas
Customer, excitedly: Yeah, if I do exactly as the judge says, I’ll be off of probation in a year!
Old cashier: In a year? Lucky you! My son has four years of probation.
Customer: Four years? Man, that’s tough. What did he do?
Old cashier: He shot someone! [Breaks into hysterical laughter along with the customer.]
South Adams Street
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Just wanted to pay for my groceries
Smoker: Yeah, but the problem is security. I could give her an injection of morphine, but–
401 Gate Tree Lane
Austin, Texas
Newly appointed head of county school superintendent's office: We need to teach out children why they need to know trigometry. (pause) With cooperation from sheriff's real CSI, kids will learn how trigometry is used to solve crimes.
Apple Valley, California
Overheard by: Kittytrix
Guy: The worst part of being a corrections officer is when the prisoners want to fight you.
Suit: Yeah, that seems like it would be dangerous.
Guy: No, it’s just that I hate the paperwork.
327 Lakeshore Drive East
Dunkirk, New York
Elderly overweight coworker: Yes, it was expensive to take a taxi one city block everyday, but I didn't want to get raped.
Young uncomfortable male coworker: No, I don't blame you.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a rapist
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.
W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Passenger: My daughter is burning that DVD for you. I’ll drop it by when she’s done it.
Station worker: Thanks! You really don’t have to.
Another mother, to her toddler: Sound’s like someone’s breaching copyright!
Turramurra Station
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Andrew
