Worker #1: Hi, Sally*, my ID has expired. How can I get it renewed?
Worker #2: I suppose the other people on our team will also be expiring soon, too. Do we need to address them now, or should we wait ’til they actually expire also?
55 East Hartland Street
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Linda BoBinda
Only female worker in office, to five males: Speaking of Hummers…
(everyone stops working and looks up)
Technician: You have our attention.
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Were we?
Co-worker #1: Goodness! I can’t tell you how dusty this thing is.
Co-worker #2: Why not?
Co-worker #1: Because I don’t know the proper units of measurement for dust.
105 Arbor Drive
Christiansburg, Virginia
Magazine writer #1: So, it turned out the chick I took home from the party was a gymnast!
Staff members: Wow… That’s hot… Lucky git…
Magazine writer #2: Why, what’s so great about gymnasts?
Magazine writer #1: Um… Well, they’re really flexible…
Magazine writer #2: Oh, well, you should see the guy gymnasts, then!
Staff members: [Silence.]
35-51 Mitchell Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: and he’s OUT!
Smirky coworker in room full of women: Well, two thirds of the people in the US who make minimum wage are women, so it's not my problem.
Rochester, New York
Boss: So then you and Josh will need to mate together the two documents that you’re sending to customers, and include a note explaining why.
Co-worker: Sounds good. Starting in October, [Nathan] and I will send letters to inform all of our customers about our mating.
9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California
Overheard by: Josh
Trim female coworker: How was your weekend?
Overweight female coworker: It was okay… Ooh! I thought of you yesterday. I was taking a bath…
Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Peon #1: Did they steam clean our chairs this weekend like they were supposed to?
Peon #2: Doesn't smell like it.
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: Natasha*, is there something wrong?
Natasha: My friend just texted me saying that she’s sitting next to Orlando Bloom.
Boss: Tell him he’s fired if he doesn’t get here in five minutes.
Employee #2: Boss, he’s an actor.
Boss: I don’t give a rat’s ass what he aspires to be. I emailed everyone yesterday saying that this meeting was very important.
Natasha: Mr. Jones*, he’s a Hollywood actor. He doesn’t work—
Boss, very angry: —I see. That’s what he says, huh? He’s fired then!
Employee #2: Seriously, Boss, he doesn’t work here. He is just an actor who happened to sit next to Natasha’s friend.
Boss: So how the fuck do you dare to interrupt my meeting with some bullshit talk on a psycho employee who thinks he’s in Hollywood?!
270 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: working for an oblivious boss
Co-worker #1: What’s the matter?
Co-worker #2: I’m cold.
Co-worker #1: How can you be cold? It’s Friday.
Co-worker #2: …What?
1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona
