Female coworker: I had to go to the chiropractor because I got sandwiched between two fat chicks.
York, Nebraska
Overheard by: Eric J Eckert
Female coworker: I had to go to the chiropractor because I got sandwiched between two fat chicks.
York, Nebraska
Overheard by: Eric J Eckert
Coworker on phone: So I told my husband, “I'm not going to have sex with you anymore until you lose 30 pounds!”
Dallas, Texas
Assistant #1: I just accidentally punched that girl in the head by the fax machine.
Assistant #2: Good.
Assistant #1: Yeah, but then she said “Ow” all drawn out and gave me a nasty look.
Assistant #2: What a bitch.
Assistant #1: Quit squatting by the fax machine and I won’t punch you in the head.
233 Spring Street
New York, NY
Lady #1: So, I’ve joined a pottery class. It’s a group of people working in all different mediums. Everybody gets to make things according to their own artistic vision.
Lady #2, disgusted: Sounds very cultured.
Lady #1: Oh, no, haha — it’s not.
College and Park Street
Grapevine, Texas
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.
Avionics Shop, Washington
Female coworker: I used to spray tan, but they make you orange and then you smell like Chinese food.
Male coworker: Good Chinese food or bad Chinese food?
Female coworker: Not the good kind. And then it gets all dark in the creases, and you get jaundiced knees…
Male coworker: Just what every man wants…the munchies and a sickly white woman.
Female coworker: I wanted to look Italian.
Male coworker: But instead you wound up with jaundice, smelling like Chinese food.
Plaza VII
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Hungry now
Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning — like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?
Adam: Yes.
Military personnel: Ah, then it’s alright. You don’t get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.
Washington, DC
Worker #1: How was your weekend?
Worker #2: Good. I almost got married; the usual.
393 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Hungarian coworker with heavy accent on phone with auto repair shop: I drive a 2007 black Foreigner. (pause) Yes, Foreigner, Foreigner -like the Toyota.
Broomfield, Colorado
CSR on phone with customer: Yes, ma'am, I should be able to put you down to service your area tomorrow. Okay, thank you. (hangs up)
CSR to office: Did I just say what I think I said?
Nashville, Tennessee
