Phone drone #1: So this guy’s going to call the Better Business Bureau because I suck.
Phone drone #2: You suck?
Phone drone #1: I don’t just suck, I suck!
Phone drone #2: You suck what? Don’t answer that.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Phone drone #1: So this guy’s going to call the Better Business Bureau because I suck.
Phone drone #2: You suck?
Phone drone #1: I don’t just suck, I suck!
Phone drone #2: You suck what? Don’t answer that.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Co-worker #1: You smell of fish!
Co-worker #2: I’ve been at a fishmongers!
Co-worker #1: Oh! I thought it was an urban myth but they actually do sell fish at a fishmongers?
Co-worker #2: …What?
Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire
UK
Overheard by: Simon Green
Co-Worker #1: You said if I was bored, I could go through the packing slips, right?
Co-Worker #2: Sure, go ahead.
Co-Worker #1: And you want me to get rid of the ones that are older than six months, right?
Co-Worker #2: Right.
Co-Worker #1: So throw them out?
Co-Worker #2: Yup.
Co-Worker #1: In the garbage?
Co-Worker #2: Uh-huh.
Co-Worker #1: Should I bring them out back to the recycling cans?
Co-Worker #2: You could put them in that recycling bin right under your desk if you wanted to take the time to sort them. We only recycle white paper.
Co-Worker #1: So should I put them in the dumpster out back?
Co-Worker #2: Really, throw them out in any garbage can you want. It. Doesn’t. Matter.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Telemarketing instructor #1, analyzing recorded call: Does heavy breathing count as “filler language”?
Telemarketing instructor #2: Not at this call center.
Boston, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1: Can I use the abbreviation RNA?
Co-worker #2: You mean, like the stuff in your blood?
Co-worker #3: What’s the abbreviation for “the customer’s a jerk”?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
Coworker to the whole office: Does anyone know where Arkansas is? It's on the West Coast, right?
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: How's the new dog?
Coworker #2: It's a shitload of work. I haven't been out in weeks.
Coworker #1: Really? That sucks!
Coworker #2: I think my dog is turning me asexual.
Washington, DC
Coworker #1: It was really hard, surprisingly. Took me over an hour to get it in there, though.
Coworker #2: How did you get it out, then?
Coworker #1: Oh, well, it deflated after about five minutes, so that wasn't a problem.
Ottawa
Canadia
