Co-worker #1: Rumor mill is churning… apparently some analysts have happy hour plans from 6-8 at a bar upstairs from Planet Hollywood… $3 drinks. [John], you should be able to afford that after selling all of your earthly possessions except for suit pants and a few white shirts.
[John]: From selling my car I can buy 6,000 beers. So drink drink drink drink chug chug chug.
Co-worker #2: Or you can just buy 3,000 beers and buy us fancy dinner.
[John]: How about 3,000 beers and 3,000 hamsters? It’s only $3.00 apiece from Pavonia Newport mall in Jersey. We’ll use the hamsters to make fur coats… Might be patchy due to the color variation of the hamsters.
Co-worker #2: How about 3,000 beers and 3,000 hamsters, and we’ll make ourselves a hamster farm in the men’s bathroom. Within 2 weeks, 3,000 hamsters will increase exponentially, and once we’re done selling them all, we’ll have more than enough money to buy real fur coats.
Co-worker #1: We could eat the hamsters, too — a good source of protein, also filling yet not too high on the calorie counter. Within six months, we can look like guys in fitness commercials, and mask our self-loathing with biceps and frosty tips.
[John]: Hamsters make good drinking buddies with their itsy weenie beer mugs and blunt humor. Let’s try not to eat them.

270 Park Avenue
New York, New York