Office lesbian: Alex and I had another fight. Want to buy a new iPod with the engraving “Happy 21st birthday Alex”?
Office grunt: Has it been polished with tears?
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Finding humor in misfortune
Office lesbian: Alex and I had another fight. Want to buy a new iPod with the engraving “Happy 21st birthday Alex”?
Office grunt: Has it been polished with tears?
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Finding humor in misfortune
Co-worker: I do find that when I wear my glasses I’m menaced by street hoodlums more.
176 Grand Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Eli Mavros
Co-worker #1: Have you used this new Wite-Out strip thing?
Co-worker #2: Dude, you’re weirding me out.
Co-worker #1: Holy crap, I’ve turned into Milton from Office Space.
1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: callmeahab
Soldier #3 has a glass eye. It is out of his head and lying on the desk.
Soldier #1: Hey [John], let’s go have a smoke.
Soldier #2: Alright. [Places cigarette in mouth and walks toward door.]
Soldier #3: Hey dumbass, you’re inside! Get that fuckin’ cigarette out of your mouth!
Soldier #2: Hey Blackbeard, get a fuckin’ eye in your head!
Building 2411-B
Fort Eustis, Virginia
Overheard by: SGT Grier
Female coworker: So, did you get laid last night?
Male coworker: No, the cleaning crew came in before we could.
Female coworker: Pity. I came in this morning sniffing around for the smell of pussy and latex.
Western Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: the sugar monster
Employee #1, getting up: Stupid customers…
Employee #2: Yeah, they always come when you’re on your knees.
Fast food place
Carlingford
Australia
Male coworker #1 on conference call: You don't want to blow your credibility right out of the gate.
Male coworker #2: Let me tell you, I blow credibility every day.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: How is your monitor? It's not very old, right?
Cubicle chick: It works, yeah.
Manager: I'm going to get everyone flat screens eventually, but I'm going to do it two or three at a time.
Cubicle chick: Awesome!
Manager: But yours looks pretty good for now.
Cubicle chick: I can break it if you want me to.
Manager: I'd rather…. you didn't.
Cubicle chick: Gotcha.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: You know how when you’re dating a girl and you find out she has morals…
Coworker #2: Yeah, you give it three dates and then you lose her number.
Monterey, California
Overheard by: Horrified
