Coworkers

Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.

110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

Co-worker #1: You mean Napoleon Dynamite?
Co-worker #2: No, Napoleon Bonaparte.
Co-worker #1: Was he that explorer guy?
Co-worker #2: No, he was a French general…if you’ve ever heard the phrase “Napoleon complex” that’s where it comes from, because he was a short guy who thought he was the shit…
Co-worker #1: Oh…I’ve never heard of him.
Co-worker #2: How’s that IU education working out for you?

3699 West Lathrop
South Bend, Indiana

Woman in bathroom stall to woman in neighboring stall: Yeah, she the one who did my son's circumcision. She did a bang up job.

Olathe, Kansas

Coworkers, discussing three-year-old sons: We should have our kids cage fight.

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Heather

Office man: Watermelon seeds look like ticks.
Office lady: No, they don't.
Office man: Yes they do!
Office lady: They don't have legs!

Plainsboro, New Jersey

Employee to another: It does not exist. San Fransisco does not exist.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: then where was i?

Smug manager: The store is set up in concepts.
New, confused employee: [nods]Smug manager: We like to think that it tells a story.

Banana Republic
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Karen

Guy: Dude, that’s stupid. That attachment went out to like the whole office, you totally can’t do that…Yeah, the girl was pretty hot, though.

915 Broadway
New York, NY

Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!

The Woodlands, Texas

Overheard by: Jeremy

Girl: God, she is such a bitch!
Guy, matter-of-factly: Hos gotta be bitches or they get no respect.

540 Baxter Street
Athens, Georgia