Accountant to another: Have I mentioned that I need to depreciate?
Anselmo Lane
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Carlen
Accountant to another: Have I mentioned that I need to depreciate?
Anselmo Lane
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Carlen
Coworker #1: I bought my first iPhone app while on vacation. It's called Ragdoll Blaster. It's pretty good.
Coworker #2: You bought an app called Rectal Blaster?
Coworker #1: Ah, it's good to be back.
Princeton, New Jersey
Female admin: What were you doing here at 7:40?
Male admin: I was rummaging through your stuff.
Female admin: Find anything of interest? My stuff is pretty boring.
Male admin: Really? I found that riding crop quite interesting.
Female admin: What?! I ride horses!!
Male admin: That would explain the saddle.
80 Grasslands Road
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Female coworker: If we put a bit of vaseline on it he probably could have slid right in!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: David
Coworker on phone: Hi! Yes, I'm am looking for deer carcasses. I was hoping you can help me find some roadkill deer carcasses.
Virginia
Older cube dweller: That was the title of a great Rascals song. Have you heard of The Rascals?
Younger cube dweller: No, I'm young. And foreign.
Troy, New York
Accounting: My cat turned off my alarm this morning and made me oversleep.
Receptionist: What?
Accounting: Yeah, normally she sleeps under the covers with me, and I hear her get up and start pacing around to wake me up. But today she must have just gotten up and stepped on my alarm.
Receptionist: Well, she must have known you needed to sleep in.
850 Mount Vernon Highway NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Cat
Woman #1: He had such a big penis.
Woman #2: Oh my God, that is so hot. Did you hear about Richard*?
Woman #1: But he is a subordinate! I am not cheating on my husband with a subordinate. It feels more guilty that way. At least I feel like I’m gaining more than pleasure from sleeping with the exec.
Main Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Co-worker on phone: I’m sorry, can you say that again?…I’m sorry…I’m having some trouble understanding what you’re trying to say…Why don’t you have your boss call me and we can get this straightened out?
Hangs up.
Co-worker: Just go back to your motherfucking country…Christ.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Overheard by: Douchey Douchelton
Excited peon #1: Hey, did you know that Anna Nicole Smith died, like, months ago?!
Excited peon #2: Wow! Really? She’s the one that lost all that weight, right?
Excited peon #1: Yeah! How’d you like to be the medical examiner doing that autopsy?
480 Washington Boulevard
New Jersey
