Coworker #1: I had two gallstones removed years ago, and I kept them. I want to get them made into earrings for my wife.
Coworker #2: But that's creepy. What if she doesn't want to wear them?
Coworker #1: If she really loved me, she would!
Norwood Park South
Norwood, Massachusetts
Coworker on phone: What?! Suck on it?! No, never! I would never suck on it… I’ve used my hands and fingers, but I would never put that in my mouth! We’re not animals! [Hangs up and notices coworkers staring. Turns out it was about cleaning a newborn’s nose.]
3 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: the quiet one
Female coworker on phone: I am really sorry my pregnancy is an inconvenience to you, but guess what: it is an inconvenience to me too!
Westland, Michigan
Overheard by: Krystal
Lou*: Who do I call to get a shirt for the trade show?
Jen*: You email Erin*.
Lou: Can I just copy you in so I have a witness that this year I ordered a men’s shirt?
Lake Success, New York
Female employee, about customer: He’s afraid of his wife.
Male employee #1: And may I ask who isn’t?!
Male employee #2: I don’t fear my wife, I just respect her power.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Worker #1, about friend's two children: I like Mike, he's a cool kid. Jake, though, just scares me.
Worker #2: Me too! Serial murderer material.
Worker #1: Yeah! He's probably just this misunderstood, clinically depressed kid that nobody loves because he is so ugly. And underneath it all, he's probably a lovely person, but the world will never know because of two bitches like us. Oh, who am I kidding? He's a psychopath, and you and I are awesome.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: lurking in the shadows
Confused male call center worker: What are you doing?
Female coworker, shaking dress after hours of cutting off split ends: I've got hair on my thing and it's itchy.
Adelaide
Australia
Worker chick, looking at something on floor: What is that?
Worker guy #1: Oh, that’s a… crab.
Worker chick: We have crabs?
Worker guy #1: Yeah, I see them in the parking lot, too!
Worker guy #2: Soup!
Cypress and Westshore
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: wish I had protection…
Office lady #1: As soon as you put out cookies or candy or whatever, people around here descend on it. They're like cockroaches.
Office lady #2, eating free candy: Oh, thank you very much! I'm a cockroach, am I?
Office lady #1: Fine. It's like magic, okay?
Office lady #2: Magical cockroaches?
Office lady #1: Magical cockroaches.
Office lady #2: Well, it's good to know that at least I'm a magical cockroach.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Co-worker #1: Is [Hal] here?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: What should I do with the mail? Do you get it?
Co-worker #2: What do you do with the mail every day?
Co-worker #1: Put it on [Hal]’s desk.
Co-worker #2: Well then?
Co-worker #1: Well I wasn’t sure. I forgot.
740 Sansom Street
Phiadelphia, Pennsylvania
