Comebacks

Is There a Shortcut for That?

Office girl #1: Is there a shortcut to delete something in excel?
Office girl #2: Just hit delete.
Office girl #1: Yeah but you know how Control-c is copy and Control-v is paste.
Office girl #2: Well there is an actual delete button.
Office girl #1: No, I know -I am just trying to save time.
Office girl #2: Well hitting two buttons is not going to be quicker than hitting one.
Office girl #1: I know -but it’s a shortcut, you know?
Office girl #2: Google it.

Corporate Pointe
Culver City, California

Overheard by: Lyn

Fashion Is My Religion, Honeypie

Gay coworker: I don’t dress up for Halloween, it’s against my religion!
Straight coworker: Oh, is that the same religion you consulted when choosing your sexuality?

Dublin, Ohio

Overheard by: Stoopid like a fox

How Funny That Is Depends on Your Role in the Legal System

Receptionist: God, I love today.
Supervisor: You know, I hate it when you get laid.
Receptionist, blushing: Yeah, I know…
General manager: You're just saying that because your wife won't put out.
Supervisor: That's not really funny.
General manager: Yeah, it is… If we were lucky, Tammy here would hire out, then everyone could get laid.

Roswell, New Mexico

Overheard by: Yikes!

10AM Application Performance Testing

Tester #1: This kinda seems like that Olivia Newton-John video for Let’s Get Physical, don’t you think?
Tester #2: No.

901 Lakeside Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: mr.doitall

Don’t Ask Him Why His Cell is Off

User: If you don’t turn my cell phone back on today, I’ll tell the families of my patients and their lawyers that you are responsible for the patient’s death, because I couldn’t be reached!
Call center operator: Sir, if you are expecting your patients to die, perhaps they should switch to a different physician…

310 W. Bakerview Road
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Josh Sinnett

I'm Just His Spokesmodel

Peon #1: (sneezes)
Peon #2: Bless you.
Peon #1: Thank you.
Peon #2: Notice I didn't say “god bless you cause god doesn't love you.”
Peon #3: Aw, I love you.
Peon #2: But you're not god.

Memphis, Tennessee

Pretty People Still Have to Stand Up

Female coworker: I wish I was disabled.
Male coworker: What? Why?
Female coworker: ‘Cause then people would do things for you, like carry your stuff and get you things.
Male coworker: People do that for pretty people — why don’t you wish to be pretty?

910 Louisiana Avenue
Houston, Texas

3PM Cancel Joe’s Surprise Party

Receptionist: Joe Barnes, please come to the office, you have a phone call.
Employee: You might have to speak up. And also? If he shows up, I’m leaving.
Receptionist: Why, don’t you like him?
Employee: No, it’s not that, it’s just that he’s been dead for two years.

5900 West Chester Road
West Chester, Ohio

What? A Girl Can't Get Enough Of It!

Office manager: Should I have Bob* install that extra RAM while you're gone?
IT guy: Yes, he can be my RAM man.
Office manager, after pause: Don't ever say that again.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: I'm so going to tell everybody

10AM Sales Meeting

Sales #1: That customer just called to thank me for doing my job. That’s better than a kick in the nuts.
Sales #2: Just so you know, that offer is still on the table.

9772 Princeton Glendale Road
Cincinnati, Ohio

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist