New lady at the office: I need two big ones. Do you have a big one?
Contractor: Yes, mine's at least 19 inches.
Washington, DC
New lady at the office: I need two big ones. Do you have a big one?
Contractor: Yes, mine's at least 19 inches.
Washington, DC
IT guy #1: So, I was using the snake.
IT guy #2: Did you get it in there?
IT guy #1: Yeah, but like I got six inches in and it just exploded.
Washington St
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jaggie
Food court employee #1: I think I have a lizard tail growin’ out of my butt!
Food court employee #2: Oh, I see it!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Receptionist to boss: I just got a call from Mrs Smith. She said she fell out of her boat and hurt her scrotum.
Boss: Her scrotum?
Receptionist: Yeah, something on her back.
Boston, Massachusetts
Peon, to neighbor: At least I know how to spell it. I may not know how to spell totes, but I know how to spell that word.
Boss, interrupting: What do you know how to spell?
Peon: Vasectomy. V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y.
Boss: And in what context do you need to spell “vasectomy” in a work e-mail?
Peon: I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on with this dude, he's going to be on the phone a lot today.
Boss: Dude is getting a vasectomy?
Peon, pointing back and forth to her left and right boob: No, his grandma is.
Boss: Yeah, that's not a vasectomy.
Humble, Texas
Manager: Do you remember the cartoon where they hold the dog down and pour gravy down its throat? Great cartoon, that.
Melbourne
Australia
Male store clerk: She’s only seven, but she had the breasts of a thirty-year-old.
Kroger Supermarket
Overheard by: AmberRose Smiles
Woman #1: Mandy received her first Precious Moments figurine.
Woman #2: I hate Precious Moments. They steal your soul while you sleep, that's why their eyes are so big.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Clerk: Hey, man, y'all ever heard of Ms. Brady*, teacher at the middle school?
Guy: Yeah–I know her–big butt Brady*!
Clerk, scowling: Uhhh–that's my momma.
Convinence Store
South Mississippi
Overheard by: Mississippi Girl
Girl: Just so you know, I have a gigantic cyst on my vagina.
9050 Washington Boulevard
Culver City, California
