Programmer: I'm amazed that even now, you feel the need to keep on sucking.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Programmer: I'm amazed that even now, you feel the need to keep on sucking.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Coworker, about military uniforms: When you look at young sailors, you can tell the ones who polish and the ones who don't.
Madison, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: I pooped in my pants once. But I was in pre-k. I was lying down at naptime, and then all of a sudden, I felt it come out, and I started crying.
Coworker #2: I peed in my pants once. At work.
Broadway & Canal
New York City, New York
Overheard by: office peon
Proud grandmother to coworker: Look, here's the latest picture of my granddaughter! She's four now!
Coworker: She is so cute! I see she still has that unibrow thing going on. Will she have it lasered off?
Proud grandmother: Maybe. But she is growing into it.
Irvine, California
Engineer: If he's turning 30 and only brought in a dozen doughnuts, I'm going to kick him in the nuts!
Cambridge
Canadia
Overheard by: Ouch!
Coworker to another: I still live at home with my mom and dad; and I have no reproductive opportunities whatsoever.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: travisperiod
Warehouse manager: Anyone seen Joe*?
Office manager: I don’t know where he is. He sent me an email at 2:03, so he’s at a computer somewhere.
Sales guy: I haven’t seen him in a while.
Office manager: I bet he went home and he’s sending these emails from the web-mail!
Assistant: No, I went out to the warehouse not long ago and passed him on my way out there. He didn’t look very happy though.
Sales guy: Why don’t you bake him a birthday cake?
Assistant: But it’s not his birthday!
Sales guy: It doesn’t matter. Birthday cakes make everyone feel better.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Manager to assistant: I cream myself twice a day, especially when I go to bed. If you don't do it at my age, you'll get all shriveled up.
Assistant: Yeah.
Delray Beach, Florida
Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: It smells like old people in here.
Coworker #2: What do old people smell like?
Coworker #3: Death and feces.
San Rafael, California
