College-educated marketing coordinator: Do you know what he's asking for?
Designer: He wants you to get a quote to print the postcards.
College-educated marketing coordinator: I know, but what does “two comma one hundred” mean?
Designer: He wants a quote on two-thousand, one hundred postcards.
College-educated marketing coordinator: Oh.
Pennsylvania
Employee, about data extract: Wow! You know, this is kinda big.
Manager: Oh? Just put it in the share drive.
Employee: I think I'll just zip it up before I give it to you.
Manager: What?
Employee yelling: I said I don't think you'll want it, because it's too big to give to you, so I'll have to zip it back up.
Walnut Creek, California
Worker #1: Say what you want about me, I get shit fucking done.
Worker #2: Yes, you are an excellent shit fucker.
Boca Raton, Florida
Old woman, filling out request for copy of marriage license form: Mine's kind of crooked. Is yours crooked? (pause) Oh, I'm filling out an application for a marriage license. I don't want to do that again!
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Alexis
Female coworker: Anybody heard anything about Sue* yet?
IT guy: She is still on bed rest and waiting for the baby to make up her mind.
Office manager: Just like a woman, will come out when they want.
Mesquite, Nevada
Female guest at front desk: I want to do laundry. Give me four and half dollars in quarters.
Desk attendant: I can give you five dollars in quarters with this.
Female guest: I only want four and half dollars.
Desk attendant: M'am, you gave me a five dollar bill.
Female guest: Just give me four and half dollars in quarters!
Desk attendant: Okay. Here's four-fifty in quarters. And here's two quarters change.
Female guest: Finally. Thank you.
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Meredith
Post doctoral researcher, approaching end of contract: I can see light at the end of the tunnel, but I hope it's not another bastard with a torch holding more work.
KU Leuven
Belgium
Latin legal assistant, getting off the phone: That lady just told me to jump in a lake.
Dowdy woman: What is that in Spanish?
Latin legal assistant: She said it in English.
Dowdy woman: Yeah, but I want to hear it in Spanish.
Law Firm
Bay Shore, New York
