Salesman, about prospective customer: I gotta hook up with this guy. I'm really gonna pound his ass!
Canadia
Salesman, about prospective customer: I gotta hook up with this guy. I'm really gonna pound his ass!
Canadia
Female teacher: You squashed my banana!
Male teacher: Here, just have my banana.
Female teacher: I don't want your banana.
Male teacher: Look, just eat my banana.
Female teacher: No!
(male teacher walks away in disgust)
Female teacher, shouting after him: I only like lady fingers!
Barwon Heads
Australia
Older office lady, watering plant: What, did you ask the same question as me?
Younger male colleague: What question?
Older office lady, lowering voice: About Natalee Holloway.
Younger male colleague: No, I just wanted to get some water.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Fattest guy in the office: I wish they had Diet Sprite in the cafeteria.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Male coworker #1: I got this cheap lavender candle at Walmart and it doesn't even work! I can barely smell anything! I need some aromatherapy.
Male coworker #2: I'm telling you, you gotta buy a Yankee candle. They're the best.
Male coworker #1: Do they have lavender?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, they have lemon-lavender, vanilla-lavender…
Male coworker #1: I want just regular lavender. I'll check their website…
Washington, DC
Sales to admin: I need a Porsche.
Los Angeles, California
Office girl: I think any merry-go-round involving drilldoes is not a merry-go-round I want to partake in.
Brookline, Massachusetts
Cubicle rat #1, trying to read computer screen: Ugh! I wish I had good eyes!
Cubicle rat #2: Maybe you need glasses.
Cubicle rat #1: I don't need glasses. I need good eyes!
Braintree, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: So my wife decided to start doing yoga. Now she wants to join a yoga studio.
Coworker #2: Isn't she already a member of Life Time Fitness?
Coworker #1: Yes, but they don't have hot yoga there.
Coworker #2: Ah. Is that like yoga for just hot people?
Denver, Colorado
Account exec eyeing treats in kitchen: Those biscuits are so good they make me want to cry. They taste like Paris!
Manhattan, New York
