Coworker: Apparently, according to German law, I'm entitled to a castle.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Matt McLaughlin
Coworker: Apparently, according to German law, I'm entitled to a castle.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Matt McLaughlin
Stockbroker, matter-of-factly: I don’t care about the results of interspecies breeding, I just want to have entire populations of zoos inseminating our women. That is an end in itself.
Financial District
Boston, Massachusetts
Property manager to coworker playing soft Celtic music: What is this music? Have we joined a monastery? It makes me want to slit my wrists!
Seattle, Washington
Adjuster to claimant driver, attempting to take a recorded statement: Well, I hope you're not going to die anytime soon because I have a lot of important questions I need to ask you.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: Missing that page in my training manual
Co-worker #1: If I ever get fired, I really want to sell myself on the streets.
Co-worker #2: Like a prostitute?
6350 Transit Road
Depew, New York
Overly happy admin on phone, on administrative professional's day: Amanda made me cookies! (pause) I know! I want them to feel free to worship me whenever they want! Bowing is optional!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: and when exactly is computer monkey day?
Copy editor: I just wanna go home and sleep. And if I'm lucky, I'll never wake up again.
Project manager #1: That's my dream. To die in my sleep.
Project manager #2: Well, sure. But tonight?
Copy editor: Why, is there something on tv tonight you'd miss?
Ad Agency
Seattle, Washington
Office negative Nelly: I don't know what I'm going to do. But the next time I get paid, I'm going to do something strange and weird with it.
Positive sidekick: Really? Strange and weird?
Office negative Nelly: Okay, maybe not weird, but definitely strange. There's a difference?
Chicago, Illinois
VP: They were used to our company being Mr Goodbar, Mr Good Humor guy, but not anymore. If I want her to embrace it, she gotta have more skin in the game.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Redacted
