What I Mean Is “I Enjoy Erotic Experiences with Young Dogs”

Tech manager: Okay, I gotta go finish writing this nasty gram to a client.
Account manager: Hurry up! I want puppies. Puppies! Puppies! Puppies! Oops, that sounded bad.

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Cindy

Posted on February 4, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses, Financial Folk, Maryland, Tech People, Weirdness, Wishes

Sorry You Dented That Rock, Though.

Male grad student to female TA: Oh, hey! Congratulations on not fracturing your skull!

Geology Department
University of Iowa

Overheard by: Another Grad

Posted on February 4, 2015
Body Parts, Health & Hygiene, Iowa, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

And Its Little Dog, Too

Cube rat: Damn the metric system!

State College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Word.

Posted on February 4, 2015
Cubicles, Default, Education, Employees, Gripes, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

Translation: I Have a Life

IT gal: Well, unlike Bob, I'm not that dedicated. I don't look at this stuff on nights and weekends.

Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on February 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Missouri, Tech People, Weirdness

And Uncle Fester? Rowr!

Cube rat, out of the blue: I don't understand why everybody made such a big deal out of the Addams Family being so weird. I would totally go live with them!

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Posted on February 1, 2015
Employees, Family, Oklahoma, TV, Weirdness

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service, People!

Waiter to other servers: Okay, just so everyone knows, there's a Sasquatch loose somewhere in the bathroom.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 31, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Illinois, Restroom, Weirdness

Tonight's Movie: The Phantom Of the Performance Review

Account manager, yelling across the hall: He needs you to bring more photo paper, and black ink.
PR exec, yelling back: A black cape?
Account manager: No, ink!
PR exec: A cape?
Account manager: He wants ink!
PR exec: Why does he want a cape?

London
Canadia

Posted on January 31, 2015
Bosses, Canadia, Clothes, Colors, Executives, Financial Folk, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

A Cautionary Tale About Getting Stoned at Work

Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 30, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Feelings, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness, Wishes

Unless It Counts When He Sticks His Nose in My Crotch

Coworker #1: How's the new dog?
Coworker #2: It's a shitload of work. I haven't been out in weeks.
Coworker #1: Really? That sucks!
Coworker #2: I think my dog is turning me asexual.

Washington, DC

Posted on January 30, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Questions, Sexuality, Washington DC, Weirdness

Crazy Idealists Do Incalculable Damage in the Workplace

Newly appointed head of county school superintendent's office: We need to teach out children why they need to know trigometry. (pause) With cooperation from sheriff's real CSI, kids will learn how trigometry is used to solve crimes.

Apple Valley, California

Overheard by: Kittytrix

Posted on January 28, 2015
Bosses, California, Crimes, Education, Science, Weirdness

Weirdness