Conductor, over loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we've found the glitch in this temporary schedule, some genius has us leaving at 8:22, so we'll now sit here a full 10 minutes! Sorry for the delay. (several minutes later) Ladies and gentlemen, once again, we're waiting for time to catch up to us, we've got 4 minutes left until we've left the station.
Manhattan, New York
Office manager, getting off phone: Well, that was awkward. She said that Jim died in march.
Accountant: He didn't leave any unpaid invoices, right?
Orange, California
Overheard by: Peon with a soul
Office guy, as if about the weather: I'd be gay, except for the spooning.
Bentonville, Arkansas
Boss to office: The midget has a whip!
Mitchelton
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Beka
Accounting supervisor: I'd really like for this customer to start paying on time.
Trade floor director: Well, I'd like bigger tits and a smaller ass, but that's not going to happen.
Houston, Texas
Lab tech #1: So I’ve been going to the hospital in the mornings.
Lab tech #2: Oh, are you ok?
Lab tech #1: Oh no, I’ve been going to watch surgeries. It’s a really great way to start off the day.
Harvard
Boston Massachusetts
Overheard by: Interesting Morning
Older lady: Get your filthy hand off me, you son of a whore!
Guy: You comin' back this afternoon?
Older lady: Yeah, I guess. You want me to?
Guy: Yeah, sure.
Older lady: Okay, then. See you later.
Catawba, Virginia
Mother being questioned: I don't understand why I'm here. I don't know what I did wrong.
Detective: I'm not saying it's right or wrong. But sometimes you just gotta clean your kid.
Police Station
Los Angeles, California
Customer: I left something in a cab and I would pay very well to get it back.
Dispatcher: Sure, I just need to know the description of the item to see if it's been returned.
Customer: Umm, I'd rather not explain.
Dispatcher: Well, how do I find it? It can't be that bad.
Customer: Well, it's a brown bag. Has anyone turned in a brown bag?
Dispatcher: Not that I'm aware of. Look, do you know the cab number?
Customer: No, but I think it was one of your cabs.
Dispatcher: You think? Did you catch a name? Know anything about the driver?
Customer: He was foreign, like, Middle Eastern. I think his name was Ali.
Dispatcher: Seriously?
Burnside Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Harassed Dispatcher
Coworker: The first message I have is Dave claiming to be a proctologist. Which is why I'm not sure I want to be in this conversation.
Dave: Bend over.
Alpharetta, Georgia
