Secretary to cater-waiter carrying glassware: I can hear you tinkling!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Secretary to cater-waiter carrying glassware: I can hear you tinkling!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Woman, wiping back of another in halter: What's with all the red on your back?
Woman in halter: I don't know. (pause) Oh, is there white paint on there, too?
Woman, stopping wiping: What have you been doing?
Glendale, Wisconsin
Coworker, discussing why he can't go to lunch: I would fart once in my room on Saturday, and it would totally blow my mind. Then it would proceed to blow everyone else's minds in every other room upstairs. Like, seriously, Joe* was like “did you drop a deuce?” and I was like “no.” Then I proceeded to fart exclusively in the bathroom for the rest of the weekend, and bring a pack of matches too.
Crozet, Virginia
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Male IT worker: Body glitter is not that hard to wash off.
Richmond, Virginia
Petite art librarian: Penis it is! That's what it is, that's what we're supposed to use, according to the library of congress.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Peon #1: All those Luxury Wafers are broken.
Peon #2: How do you know?
Peon #1: I hand-checked them all. And licked them too. You can never be too careful.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: no office snacks for me
Receptionist on phone, about sister's recent miscarriage: It's because she's a pill-popper. And she still smokes weed. The methadone was okay, though, because a lot of pregnant women do that.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Angry office manager, looking at promotional material: It looks like someone ate alphabet soup and shat all over this document.
K Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: must have been too muct text on the page…….
New guy: It felt really weird when I put it in my mouth, and I don't know… I didn't like it.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The WC
Cube mate #1 to cube mate #2: What did we eat? I just crapped an Ewok!
Savannah, Georgia
