Suit #1: I called Jim* about that question we had concerning the asset and stock consistency regs’ application to foreign target affiliates.
Suit #2: Yeah? What did he say?
Suit #1: Well, apparently he had a heart attack last week and passed away. I haven’t heard back from him.
Washington, DC
Person #1: Remember our old boss that nine people quit because of?
Person #2: Um, how could I not remember crazy McBitcherson?
Person #1: Well, two people have already quit because of her at her new job. My roommate works there.
Person #2: Wow. Someone should start a blog about her and entitle it: “That bitch is whack”.
Person #1: I’m on it!
Washington, DC
Coworker, on how to lobby: Finish the whole thing with “goddammit”!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: J-Ro
Girl on phone: After work we can go out on the boat and drink. And the dogs can come. (pause) I know! Don't think I didn't get them a life jacket.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Work It.
Assistant: You ever do something repeatedly–so much, that you’re like, “Whoa, this isn’t real. I’m not doing this!”?
Intern: Umm…
Assistant: Like, when you’re staring at your face in the mirror for so long that you’re like, “Whoa! That’s not my face! This isn’t real!” Hasn’t that ever happened to you?
Intern: No. That’s usually when I stop drinking.
900 2nd Street NE
Washington, DC
Attorney: A partner just caught me licking yogurt off my sweater.
Clerk: You’re definitely getting another raise.
Attorney: It was right on the boob.
Clerk: Wow, a raise and a bonus. You’re a real go-getter.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Sales guy: How can you sit like that? It’s disgusting.
Information specialist: I have weak ankles. I’m sorry I disgust you.
Sales guy: You don’t disgust me, just the way you sit. Besides, you’re always making fun of my women.
Information specialist: Say, do you have one of those auto-lifts in your bedroom?
Sales guy: I see what you’re saying. Because I like big women.
Information specialist: I mean, in case you get pinned or something.
Sales guy: Funny thing is, I know how to maneuver one of those, from a previous job.
Information specialist: I’ll take that as a yes.
Washington DC
Boss: Find anything interesting?
Employee: Yeah. Mexicans are bad tippers…Sorry, that was racist. Spanish people are bad tippers.
1100 Vermont Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: adrone
Boss: Oh good morning, would you like some coffee?
Building Manager: Oh, I don’t think so.
Boss: Oh, have some.
Building Manager: No, thanks. It’ll just make me perspire. I had a cup and a half before I left for work this morning and my makeup slid right off my face.
3040 M Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Chris
Paralegal to friendly lawyer: I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand.
Lawyer: What’s your problem? We just saved the firm hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Paralegal: It has nothing to do with that… I’d help to bankrupt an orphanage if it came to it.
Lawyer: Then why won’t you shake my hand?
Paralegal: Sir, I was in the bathroom when you took a shit after the meeting, and you didn’t wash your hands. That’s just disgusting.
725 12th Street NW
Washington, DC
