Contributing to Domestic Abuse Is a Hoot and a Half

Drunk on phone: Hello, is this Frogs?
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look…is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look…I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Annmarie

Posted on May 21, 2015
Bosses, Crazies, Drinking, Feelings, Interns & Temps, Nevada, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

Meet the Poster Boy for Conservative America

Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!

Scranton, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?

Posted on May 20, 2015
Death, Family, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

5PM Pick Up Kids

Teacher on phone: But [Matt], it’s just the sound of a gun. The audience won’t even see it!…Not even the sound effect?…Are you kidding me?…So, what, we’re not allowed to do Hamlet now because somebody has to die in the end?…I know they don’t use real swords; we aren’t using a real gun!…How is anyone supposed to die?

2155 Napier Avenue
Macon, Georgia

Posted on May 20, 2015
Arts, Death, Georgia, Gripes, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Teachers, Violence

His Business Is Immune to Economic Downturns

Sales manager: What's that picture from?
R&D assistant: It's from our Christmas party.
Sales manager: I've never seen a fat Filipino hitman before.

Los Alamitos, California

Overheard by: Cat

Posted on May 14, 2015
Bosses, California, Crimes, Employees, Questions, Sales, Violence

And Do You Ever Clean Any of Them?

Mother to child: No, we already have nine guns at home!

Wal-Mart Supercenter, Conneaut Lake Road
Meadville, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 12, 2015
Crazies, Pennsylvania, Violence

We Just Put It in the Trunk; We'll Bury It Later

Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on May 12, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Death, Florida, General Idiocy, Meetings, Money, Questions, Sexuality, Violence, Words

..Now Look!

Sales on phone: I trusted you not to destroy my testes.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Brad

Posted on May 11, 2015
Body Parts, Feelings, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Sales, Violence

Let’s Say, ‘Within This Fiscal Year’

Dad: I swear, I am going to break her arm by the time she is two.
Mom: She is two.
Dad: Three, then.

Outback Steakhouse
Green Brook, New Jersey

Posted on May 11, 2015
Couples, Family, Family members, New Jersey, Service, Time Management, Violence

Yeah, You Wish That Was a Metaphor

Boss: We're going to have to stroke his penis.

Downtown Brooklyn
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Miss Blige

Posted on May 7, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses, New York, Violence, Weirdness

The Internet Has Somewhat Dampened Joshua’s Sense of Wonder

Dude: What I really wanna see is a baby shot out of a cannon through a waterfall of gasoline, over a bundle of lit sparklers, and knock an old lady off a horse, ’cause then I could say I really saw something. [notices cleaning lady] Oh, shit.

Dearborn, Michigan

Overheard by: dude thats fucked up

Posted on May 6, 2015
Crazies, Michigan, Violence, Wishes

Violence