Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?
Teacher on phone: But [Matt], it’s just the sound of a gun. The audience won’t even see it!…Not even the sound effect?…Are you kidding me?…So, what, we’re not allowed to do Hamlet now because somebody has to die in the end?…I know they don’t use real swords; we aren’t using a real gun!…How is anyone supposed to die?
2155 Napier Avenue
Macon, Georgia
Sales manager: What's that picture from?
R&D assistant: It's from our Christmas party.
Sales manager: I've never seen a fat Filipino hitman before.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Cat
Mother to child: No, we already have nine guns at home!
Wal-Mart Supercenter, Conneaut Lake Road
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Sales on phone: I trusted you not to destroy my testes.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad
Dad: I swear, I am going to break her arm by the time she is two.
Mom: She is two.
Dad: Three, then.
Outback Steakhouse
Green Brook, New Jersey
Boss: We're going to have to stroke his penis.
Downtown Brooklyn
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Miss Blige
Dude: What I really wanna see is a baby shot out of a cannon through a waterfall of gasoline, over a bundle of lit sparklers, and knock an old lady off a horse, ’cause then I could say I really saw something. [notices cleaning lady] Oh, shit.
Dearborn, Michigan
Overheard by: dude thats fucked up
