Male flight attendant: Okay, folks, one last time — please turn your cell phones off. If the person next to you is talking on their phone, smack ’em! That should teach them.
Southwest flight 1911 to Oakland, California
Overheard by: Katie
Male flight attendant: Okay, folks, one last time — please turn your cell phones off. If the person next to you is talking on their phone, smack ’em! That should teach them.
Southwest flight 1911 to Oakland, California
Overheard by: Katie
Director, miming painting a wall: This is painting. It's kind of like bitch-slapping.
Adult Film Company
New York
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!
Sacramento, California
Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
Male bartender: Where'd you park?
Female bartender: 12th and Albany.
Male bartender: So far away? Why do you want to be raped?
Los Angeles, California
Crazy coworker, nonchalantly: I knew a guy who killed his girlfriend. Stuffed her in the wall…
Government Office
Washington, DC
Woman #1, looking over cubicle: Rachel is going to be angry that you are sending her so many emails.
Woman #2, turning around: Who gives a fuck?
Woman #1: Seriously, you better watch it. [looks around] She can’t take too many emails, she has to pace herself.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not pacing myself!
Cubicle drone #1 (while physically beating cubicle drone #2): You could be replaced by a rubber tree plant!
Bowmanville
Ontario
Canadia
Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
