Luckily This One Never Existed Shredding Noises

Lawyer: It’s not exactly ethical but we have to get this thing out today.
Intern: That isn’t just unethical… Isn’t it illegal?
Lawyer: Only if you think contracts are binding.

Madison Avenue
New York City, New York

Posted on April 30, 2008
Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Interns & Temps, Lawyers, Legal, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Time Management

Seems Like a Lot of Work to Get Another Job, Though

Designer: … And then [the director] said, ‘What else did you accomplish today?’ Can you believe that?!
Writer: What the hell business is it of his what you do here?
Designer: And so what if I did go to lunch with you for three hours? Is that a crime? Can a man not waste a little time on the company dollar anymore? What the hell kind of place is this becoming?!
Writer: I ask myself that everyday.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on March 28, 2008
Arizona, Default, Designers and Photographers, Gossip, Gripes, Time Management, Writers and Editors

My Timberlands Really Would’ve Come in Handy in This Weather

Girl looking out window at rain: I picked a bad day to go straight.

Clarksville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Girl 3

Posted on March 21, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Sexuality, Tennessee, Time Management

If You’ll Come to Work As Little Bo Peep, Yes

Finance director: Is Halloween on the 28th this year?

E 9th & Lyon Street
Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: Receptionist

Posted on March 21, 2008
Default, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Holidays, Iowa, Questions, Time Management

A Whore Gets Paid for It and a Tramp Eats Spaghetti with Dogs

Lady worker bee: C’mon, you know you were skanky before you got married.
Male worker bee: No, I wasn’t. I may have been a slut, but not a skank.
Lady worker bee: What’s the difference?
Male worker bee: A skank is a slut that doesn’t bathe.

4768 Church Road
Platteville, Wisconsin

Posted on March 19, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Sexuality, Time Management, Wisconsin, Words

His Agenda Item Turned Out to Be a Hard One, Though

Manager #1, about speaking at staff meeting: Do you want to go first? Mine is pretty long.
Manager #2: Well, mine is really short, so yeah, it’ll be easier if I go first.

Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: biting my lip

Posted on March 13, 2008
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Massachusetts, Questions, Time Management, Words

So If You Continue to Be Full of It, You Live Forever?

Suit to others: I guess he had a heart attack, man. He was on the john for two and a half weeks!

East Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: What?!?

Posted on March 6, 2008
Default, Health & Hygiene, Restroom, Suits, Time Management, Washington

Someone’s Gotta Give Him the Full Lube Service

Nurse: We need you to be here for the duration of your brother’s procedure. He should be done in 15 minutes or so.
20-something mechanic: Do I need to be here? [Points at floor.] Or here? [Points at room.] Because that is one flashlight I don’t wanna hold!

Proctologist’s office
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: but he’s taken a shine to you!