Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Male payroll processor: If you want me to process your payroll, you have to put the time you came in and left.
Female coworker: I was out sick. Did you see that I used sick time?
Male payroll processor: Yeah! What’s your point?
Female coworker: I was out sick! I didn’t come in or leave!
Male payroll processor: Whatever! More work for me!
Speedway
Tucson, Arizona
[8:30 am, a credit card decline notice from a customer in Hawaii is placed on Paul’s* desk. Paul starts dialing the number.]Will*: Paul, don’t you know it’s 3:30 am there?
Paul, continuing to dial: It’s okay, they’re used to it.
Seminole Trail
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: They are *not* used to that
Boss walking by office at 6 pm: Oh, you guys are still here? I just went to the bathroom with the door open.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker: With as much time as we spend pulling stuff out of our ass around here, it’s amazing they even give us chairs.
Fort Worth, Texas
IT worker: If you use it a whole bunch of times it will become intuitive.
Madison, Connecticut
Specialist peon to manager peon: It’s 3:30 already? My thingy hasn’t been popping up all day!
South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I didn’t know girls had thingies
IT nerd: So, we’ll move that code to production at 5 AM on Thursday.
Programmer: Is that in the morning?
Mt. Prospect Plaza, Illinois
Overheard by: smeagol
Douche boss: Hey *Jennifer, what are you working on?
Overworked secretary: An expense report for John, why?
Douche boss: Oh man, you have to do John’s expense reports too?
Overworked secretary: Yes, you asked me to start doing them last month.
Douche boss: Oh, yeah, right. I didn’t want to mention this but, you haven’t done my time sheet yet today.
Overworked secretary: Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll do it right after this.
Douche boss: Uhh, is there any way we can get it done a little sooner?
Overworked secretary: Sure, I’ll do it now, then.
Douche boss: Thanks, I just don’t want to have to stay as late as you do tonight.
9th Street
Washington, DC
Receptionist, putting her coat on: So, I’ll see you guys on Monday, have a good weekend!
Coworkers, walking out of their offices: Uh… You know it’s only four o’clock, right?
[Silence.]Receptionist, removing coat: Dang, I was almost out the door too. Teaches me to say goodbye.
Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Brandy
