Voice on PA: Attention, Barnes and Noble shoppers, will the customer looking for the ‘Bataan Death March’ please come to the Children’s Department? Thank you.
Southlake, Texas
Voice on PA: Attention, Barnes and Noble shoppers, will the customer looking for the ‘Bataan Death March’ please come to the Children’s Department? Thank you.
Southlake, Texas
Yuppie hubby: See anything you like on the wine list?
Wifey: I look for potential baby names whenever I read a wine list. Oooh, ‘Spencer’ — that’s a good one!
Park Street
Orlando, Florida
Coworker #1: You wouldn't believe who just called me. Juan*. I haven't heard from him in six months, and now all of a sudden he thinks I'm going to talk to him again?
Coworker #2, jokingly: Well, maybe he just wants to be good friends.
Coworker #1: You know what? He can just go and be good friends with his horse!
Melbourne, Florida
Woman in lift, noticing man cleaning doors: I can’t believe they clean a fucking elevator shaft, but it takes them a week to clean dried-up vomit in the foyer!
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Admin
50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy?
20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime?
Wayne, New Jersey
Newbie: It's been a long day. A long week, actually.
Senior: It's been a long eight years for me.
Newbie: Wow. How are you still alive?
Senior: I don't know. I'm a soul survivor.
Newbie: Like that Rolling Stones song? Did they write that after you?
Senior: Yep. I'm the only one who can survive in this place.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Intern on phone: Uh-huh, yeah. We're staying with the nuns. Apparently you pray for an hour and then you can sleep there. I know.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Boss in team meeting: I know these conversations are going nowhere, but we’re on a deadline so we need to get nowhere faster!
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Sales guy: If anyone needs Larry* in the warehouse, don’t call. He’s in the dumpster.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: So, is there any other duty that you do on a daily basis that we should include on this list?
Worker: You mean other than miscellaneous bullshit?
Boss: Well, how much time do you spend on miscellaneous bullshit everyday?
Worker: Depending on the day, between 10 minutes and 8 hours.
4913 West Laurel Street
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: hang on voltaire
