[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.
Hospital
Beckley, West Virginia
Enginee: I’m gonna beat you up!
Senior Engineer: What are you going to do, beat my chin up with your nuts?
117 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fat French Kid
Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!
Rogers, Arkansas
Teacher: Can you tell me what states I might find on the West coast of the United States?
Student: The big one on the bottom. Mexico is part of the United States.
Teacher: No, that is wrong. Mexico is a country, try again.
Student: Look, my parents live here and they said we’re American and they came from Mexico. It’s part of the United States.
Teacher: I am telling you, you are wrong. Mexico is a country — it has its own government.
Student: Look, if it was its own country then why is everyone just walking over here? That’s what I did and I’m still here.
Another student pulls out cell: Not for long.
School, Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada
Associate: Do you think you could survive if we dropped you in the middle of the rainforest?
Temp: No way — I would die for sure.
Associate: What about if we dropped you in a Wal-Mart?
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Secretary in a loud voice, walking down hall: I'm evil, I have a lot of evil thoughts!
Market Street
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Urban Achiever
Sales lady: Hello.
Crazy lady: Don’t you talk to me! You don’t know me! We don’t know each other! You have no right to talk to me!
Rochester, Minnesota
Overheard by: Katie
IT person: Usually the email address is just the first initial, then the employee’s last name.
Salesguy: Oh, okay…What’s John Smith’s last name again?
Columbia, South Carolina
Boss: Why don’t I just shove a sock down your throat to shut you up?
Secretary: Yeah that’s fine, just make sure it’s not the sock you stuff your pants with!
Company Office
Fort Drum, New York
Head cashier: Suck my cock!
Cashier: I'm gonna hang you by your ovaries!
Lake Success, New York
