Sheriff, Any Idea Why This Boy Would Brutally Murder His Mother?

Baby mama to friend: These little boy clothes is so cute! If I have a boy I am going to name him D’jon, ’cause I love mustard!

Baby Gap
Towson, Maryland

Posted on June 20, 2018
Crazies, Gossip, Maryland, Threats

Hot!

Professor: Whoever taught you to write like this should be flogged with your severed writing arm.

Houston, Texas

Posted on June 13, 2018
Education, Teachers, Texas, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

He Likes to Be on Top

Cube rat: Are you threatening my life?!
Female drone: No! I am threatening your position in this office!

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on May 16, 2018
Canadia, Coworkers, Threats

So Drive Around That Girl Scout Troop

Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…

Newspaper
Delaware

Posted on April 25, 2018
Accidents, Death, Delaware, Designers and Photographers, Threats, Violence

10AM Contact Miami Offices

Senior Manager: [Justine] just asked me if you heard from the Miami system about the problem we had on Friday afternoon.
Manager: No. They were preparing for Wilma to hit them…oh, about now.

1400 Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 27, 2018
Bosses, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Pennsylvania, Threats, Time Management

You've Always Struck Me As More Of a Swallower

Supervisor to staff member: Leave me alone or I will spit my nastiness on you.

Mclean, Virginia

Posted on March 22, 2018
Anger management, Bosses and Underlings, Threats, Violence, Virginia

I’ve Been Doing Enough Yoga That It’s Physically Possible

Office girl in stall: Fuck this! Fuck you, uterus! I’ll kick your ass!

16th Street
Tempe, Arizona

Posted on January 16, 2018
Arizona, Crazies, Threats

Definitely Do It

Office worker to colleague: Hey, is it okay to put tinfoil in the microwave?
Office manager, from the kitchen: Fire!

Northern Canadia

Posted on December 31, 2017
Canadia, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Questions, Technology, Threats, Weirdness

No– Not Mr. Teeny!

Senior consultant to underling: I swear to god, if you don't change your answer I'm kidnapping your monkey!

Austin, Texas

Posted on October 27, 2017
Animals, Consultants, Employees, Texas, Threats, Weirdness

My Career Is in Your Tiny Hands

Navy commander to his three-year old who’s locked herself in the connecting bathroom again: Susie*, open this door at once! I command you!

Visiting officer’s quarters, Tachikawa Air Force base
Tokyo
Japan

Posted on September 19, 2017
Bosses, Executives, Family, Family members, General Idiocy, Japan, Offers and requests, The Military, Threats

Threats

No– Not Mr. Teeny!