Team assistant to IT guy: I can't get this file e-mailed cuz it's too big. Can you come up and zip it or something?
IT guy: Why don't you send it to me? I'll see what I can do.
The Hague
Netherlands
Overheard by: Out of Office
Team assistant to IT guy: I can't get this file e-mailed cuz it's too big. Can you come up and zip it or something?
IT guy: Why don't you send it to me? I'll see what I can do.
The Hague
Netherlands
Overheard by: Out of Office
IT guy #1: I'll hold her down, you pound her.
IT guy #2: Okay.
(both laugh)
Business analyst: What are you guys laughing at?
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Data entry specialist #1: Why does Miley Cyrus repeat that lyric in her song? And a Jay-C song was on! And a Jay-C song was on!
Data entry specialist #2: “Jay-c”? Do you mean “Jay-Z”?
Data entry specialist #3: I think she needed to add thirty seconds to the song, so she just sang the same lyric over and over.
Data entry specialist #1: That's not a party in the USA! That's just bad song-writing.
Data entry specialist #2: It's brainwashing.
Receptionist: Wait, you all don't like Miley Cyrus?
St. Louis, Missouri
Programmer #1: Never trust a fuckin' midget.
Programmer #2: Oh, yeah? Well, never trust a fuckin' fag who's sworn off fuckin'.
Memphis, Tennessee
IT guy #1: Can you change those stupid default setting sounds?
IT guy #2: Those aren't default sounds. I spent time picking those out. I really like the submarine sounds!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Julie
IT worker: So what do you want to call your server?
Female coworker: How about Skynet? Everybody loves Skynet!
Male coworker: If you call it Skynet I will stab you in the eye.
Female coworker: Well, everyone except him.
North Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah Connor
Good looking male computer geek: Her nick is “slutpants.” That sounds… promising.
African American geek: Girl, don't even act like you don't have a pair of slut pants.
Ginger geek: I'm so slutty I don't wear pants!
African American geek: You're gonna get gonorrhea.
Ginger geek: I'd rather get syph. It's the romantic STD.
Good looking male computer geek: Well, too bad you're going to get gonorrhea!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Boss: We want to have the title field on the business card, so include on the ordering page a drop-down list so the employee can select a title, and corporate standards are consistent.
IT consultant: No problem, do you have a list of titles?
Boss: No.
IT consultant: So what would you like to have in the drop-down list?
Boss: A list of titles.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
IT guy #1: Hey, Ted*, I'm gonna start fixing some of these problems in your box.
IT guy #2: You know, I've been doing pretty well getting through them. With that new tool.
IT guy #3: Yeah, that new tool is great! It lets me plow through those new hires quicker than before! I don't know how it works, but they go. Crazy for it!
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Hello, Operator…
IT guy #1, absorbed in reading data printout: Hmmm… Aha! 12, 13, 14.
IT guy #2, passing by: Hey, you can count to 14! That's great!
IT guy #3: And he can do it without taking his shoes off!
Toronto
Canadia
