IT manager, sighing loudly: I was just in accounting. Don't go over there.
Secretary: Why not?
IT manager: Because it's accounting!
Secretary: (confused silence)
IT manager, sighing: Well, for starters, Bob is wearing a Tigger shirt.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Not THAT Casual Friday
Secretary to cater-waiter carrying glassware: I can hear you tinkling!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Receptionist on phone, about sister's recent miscarriage: It's because she's a pill-popper. And she still smokes weed. The methadone was okay, though, because a lot of pregnant women do that.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Receptionist: You should use tap water instead of Poland Spring to make coffee.
Secretary: You make coffee your way, and we’ll make it our way.
Receptionist: How much do each of those jugs cost?
Secretary: What? Look, just…The water is brown and it smells bad.
Receptionist: The water is not brown and it does not smell bad.
Secretary: Well, you’re entitled to your opinion.
Receptionist: Since when is a known fact an opinion?
113 University Place
New York, NY
Receptionist to clerk: Kitty just brought one of those little hybrid cars that get a thousand miles to the gallon. How the hell does she plan to get her big fat Oompa-Loompa children crammed into that little thing?
Kitty, walking into office: Are you guys talking about the Willy Wonka movie? My kids just love those candy bars they sell at the dollar store!
Orlando, Florida
Corporate suit: Hi, is my attorney here?
Young receptionist: No, sir, she's on maternity leave.
Corporate suit: Maternity leave? Did she have a baby?
Young receptionist: Yes, sir, she did.
Young receptionist to paralegal: Doesn't “maternity leave” mean you have a baby?
Law Office
Kansas City, Missouri
Receptionist on phone: Hello, law offices…Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number. This is a law office. No, this law office has nothing to do with the Maury Show. Sir, you know, I really think you have the wrong number…No, our number is nothing like that…Well, I don’t know, are you drunk? Really? Well, good for you…Okay, well, good luck in getting through to Maury.
350 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker: The back door isn't working.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah, the card thing isn't working. It'll be fixed soon.
Coworker: How do we get into the lab from the outside, then?
Receptionist: You'll have to use the door on the other side and go around. Sorry for the incontinence.
Lancaster, California
Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Receptionist, after leaving bathroom: I didn't fart or shit, but my piss smells like a mariachi band.
Exton, Pennsylvania
