Corporate suit: Hi, is my attorney here?
Young receptionist: No, sir, she's on maternity leave.
Corporate suit: Maternity leave? Did she have a baby?
Young receptionist: Yes, sir, she did.
Young receptionist to paralegal: Doesn't “maternity leave” mean you have a baby?
Law Office
Kansas City, Missouri
Receptionist on phone: Hello, law offices…Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number. This is a law office. No, this law office has nothing to do with the Maury Show. Sir, you know, I really think you have the wrong number…No, our number is nothing like that…Well, I don’t know, are you drunk? Really? Well, good for you…Okay, well, good luck in getting through to Maury.
350 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker: The back door isn't working.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah, the card thing isn't working. It'll be fixed soon.
Coworker: How do we get into the lab from the outside, then?
Receptionist: You'll have to use the door on the other side and go around. Sorry for the incontinence.
Lancaster, California
Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Receptionist, after leaving bathroom: I didn't fart or shit, but my piss smells like a mariachi band.
Exton, Pennsylvania
Receptionist: You know, this is not the first time you’ve offered to lick my eye.
Assistant: I don’t doubt the validity of that statement.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: weeelll….hmm.
Client in high end salon to receptionist: I've got to ask you: how do you keep such a fabulous year-round tan?
Receptionist, giving blank stare: I'm half black.
Bellevue, Washington
Receptionist: Were you here on Tuesday? The smell was awful.
Worker Bee: I kind of liked it, it reminds me of my days as a firefighter.
Receptionist: I didn’t know you’re a fireman?!
Worker Bee: Well, it was in Boy Scout camp…a long time ago.
810 Seventh Ave
Butcher: Careful! Blood on the ground’s slippery.
Clerk: …I never want to hear anyone say that to me again.
110 Route 23
Riverdale, New Jersey
Agent: How do I reset the copier?
Assistant: Press the Reset button.
Agent: Which one is the Reset button?
Assistant: The big yellow one labeled “Reset”.
Agent: Oh.
16501 Ventura Boulevard
Encino, California
