Receptionists

Preacher: What’s that beeping sound?
Secretary: It’s the battery getting low on the smoke detector.
Preacher: Well you don’t need that if you would quit smoking, do
you?

801 7th Street South
Clanton, Alabama

Secretary: I’m going to Target at lunch. You need anything?
V.P.: Underwear! I always need underwear!
Secretary: Um…I’m not really comfortable with that.

1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois

Overheard by: Pirate Wench

Secretary: Hey, I haven’t seen you for a while. You been on vacation?
Associate: No, I’ve been here.
Secretary: I just love running into you. You look just like that guy from Whose Line Is It Anyway. That black guy…What’s his name?
Associate: Oh, really? No one’s ever told me that before.
Secretary: It’s ok, right? Because he’s my favorite.

1425 K Street NW
Washington DC

Overheard by: callmeahab

Receptionist: I slept a lot this weekend, 'cuz I drank a lot, you know? I woke up at 5:30 yesterday afternoon, which, you know, just hurt my feelings.
Boss: What?

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: freudian flip

Receptionist on phone in earshot of a client: She said that she told her manager, ‘I hate my fucking job.’ I told her that it was completely inappropriate to say ‘fuck’ at work.

Austin, Texas

Girl coworker to old fashioned receptionist: Hey, I think you should remind Mike* that it's his week to do kitchen duty.
Old fashioned receptionist: I don't think I can do that. Men shouldn't have kitchen duty.
Girl coworker: But he's the bottom.
Old fashioned receptionist: What's a bottom?

Washington, DC

Manager to humming receptionist: You have a nice voice.
Receptionist: Yeah?
Manager: Well, not when you talk.

Scotts Valley, California

Overheard by: Mari

Receptionist to air conditioner repair man: My fanny thing leaks!
Cube dwellers, listening: What?
Receptionist: It drips on my desk.

New Zealand

Overheard by: YOUR WHAT!!!

Receptionist #1: Do you mind watching the phones? I have a conference call. It’ll probably last about 30 minutes.
Receptionist #2, confused: Who do you have to call?
Receptionist #1, very seriously: My cat psychic.

5th Avenue
New York City, New York

Receptionist #1: Is tomorrow your last day?
Receptionist #2: Yes.
Receptionist #1: Good.

Park Place
Cardiff University, United Kingdom

Overheard by: stranded_in_UK