Conferenceperson: Could you please have a pot of coffee ready for my 2 o’clock meeting?
Secretary: Um, there’s a scheduled 1 hour long power outage at 1:30.
Conferenceperson: That’s okay, we have lights.
Computer Science Building
Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.
5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois
Assistant: I submitted this check request a month ago, can you tell me why it hasn’t been paid yet?
Accountant: Oh, you wanted it paid?
40 W. 20th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Faith Black
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
Secretary: You know, those wireless headsets have been a boon for the homeless.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: mmhmmm
Secretary: What I’d give for an eight-year-old vagina again…
Orange County, California
Receptionist: I feel like I look like I just rolled out of bed and came into work.
Dental assistant: Well…did you?
Receptionist: Well, yeah…but still!
Centennial, Colorado
Office manager: He kinda looks like a Ninja Turtle.
Receptionist: What?
Office manager: A Ninja Turtle. Don’t you see it?
Receptionist: Ummm…
Office manager: You know, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Receptionist: Oh, that kind of Ninja Turtle… I don’t see it.
2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
Gossipy receptionist: …and then she rode the wiener mobile.
Erie, Pennsylvania
IT guy #1, looking at coworker's computer: Yep… We got porn!
IT guy #2: Are you surprised?
IT guy #1: No, not really.
Receptionist, passing by: Oh my god! That's not a dildo, that's an act of war!
Chicago, Illinois
