Worker: So last night I got the '08 Altima I was telling you about. It's got the continuously variable transmission, so when you accelerate it doesn't have to downshift for power.
Coworker: Cool! What color is it?
Worker: Black on black.
Coworker: Just like inner city crime!
Omaha, Nebraska
Black cube rat (comparing voter registration cards): Yours is much better than mine.
White cube rat: But yours is colored.
Black cube rat: Yours is thicker.
(pause)
White cube rat: Let's just not talk for the rest of the day.
Black cube rat: I, uh, gotta go.
Washington, DC
Crazy female VP: So, who are you voting for in the election?
Unassuming employee: Obama.
Crazy female VP: Oh, really? I'm voting McCain.
Unassuming employee: Uh huh.
Crazy female VP: But, you know…I don't even see Obama as a black man.
Rockefeller Plaza
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Blonde Leading The Blind
Black boss: I just found out I'm white!
White employee: Is there any way for me to properly respond to that?
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
Female Asian coworker: I need to lose weight. I'm considered fat for an Asian girl.
Male Asian coworker: But you're more like a black girl. Asian men don't want the normal Asian girl. We're tired of body surfing!
Chambers Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: uncivil servant
Six-year-old camper #1: I'm half Jewish and half Irish!
Six-year-old camper #2: I'm half Finnish and half Polish!
Six-year-old camper #3: I'm a quarter sign-language!
Look Park
Florence, Massachusetts
White male suit: How's tricks?
White female suit: Tricks?
White male suit: It's a hip hop way of saying “How's it going?”.
White female suit: You're so gangsta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Totally gangsta.
Accounting drone: Is someone eating fucking jockstraps and dirty socks now? There really needs to be some kind of restrictions on the food people are allowed to eat in here. How about a guideline like: “If it smells like a dead hooker, treat it like a dead hooker and eat it in your car.”? Thank god we don’t have any Indian programmers.
Milwaukee Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Manager #1: The new girl is Asian? Ooooh, fucky-sucky, long time!
Manager #2: I’ll have someone else show her around.
Manager #1, as manager #2 leaves office: It’s not harassment if you’re joking!
Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
