Boy #1: Man, why'd you kill me?
Boy #2: No, I didn't kill you, he killed you!
Public Library
Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Chey
Male coworker: Someone just called me “sir.”
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with “ma'am.” Once you are called “sir” you know you have lost all sexual appeal.
13th Street
Manhattan, New York
Suit #1: I’m going to need that project done for Monday. Can you get on that right now?
Suit #2: It’s Friday, and I have beer to drink. It’s really going to have to wait.
4881 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario
Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it's me. Am I going to see you at the club tonight, or are you staying home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class schedule? So now you're taking gym instead of business law? Terrific! That's great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: who calls their son
Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”
Arizona
Overheard by: Shocked in AZ
Client: It doesn’t sound as if the rep really understands the product. Does she need more training?
Account Manager: Oh, she understands the product. She just can’t explain it.
6665 N. Macarthur Boulevard
Irving, Texas
Office gal: No, that goes in vertically.
Office guy: Vertically? Where? Here?
Office gal: No, in the little hole.
Office guy: What? No way!
Office gal: Yeah, you gotta fanagle it a little bit to get the gap to open up, so you can stick it in there.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: That's what she said?…
Professor: Do I need to sign something saying I signed something?
Langford Architecture Center, Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
Overheard by: Faith
Coworker #1, looking at whitewater rafting photos that coworker #2 is in: Those are really good pictures, did you take them?
Coworker #2: Uh, no, I'm in the raft, so that would be kinda difficult.
Beverly Hills, California
Purchasing manager: Can I borrow a pencil?
Receptionist: No. If you don’t come prepared, I ain’t helping you.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
