Communications person: Do you think we need to tell the field?
Change manager: Well, it all depends on what level of confusion you want to communicate.
Columbus, Ohio
Communications person: Do you think we need to tell the field?
Change manager: Well, it all depends on what level of confusion you want to communicate.
Columbus, Ohio
Coworker: They say Micheal Phelps is a good swimmer, but I say screw that, we're all great swimmers! Do you know how far that was to swim? And then you get there and you have to bust through a zygote head first! That takes stamina!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Guy #1, during department meeting at adult industry company: The homemade video clips of everyday guys jacking off are actually making a lot of money, provided they're adequately equipped.
Guy #2: I know what I'm doing tonight!
Girl: Praying for a bigger penis?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Worker #1: We need a slogan for our Easter egg hunt and party. One that lets the kids know they will get to play with really fun bunnies and get to also hunt Easter eggs. Something that says “fun for all.”
Worker #2: How about “Kids bunny bash!”?
Worker #1: Yeah! Wait… what?
Day Care Center
Banning, California
Yelling large lady in yellow shirt, entering bathroom: Dontcha wish you were a bird so you could just take a crap whenever ya wanted? (slams door) You could shit on the floor, on people's heads, never have to run and hope ya make it!
Temecula, California
Teller #1: That person smelled so bad… I thought I had stepped in poop and then I didn't see poop so I thought I was pooping and I checked!
Teller #2: What would you have done if you pulled your hand back and there was poop all over it?!
Teller #1: I ain't know, I was gonna cross that bridge when I got to it, okay?
Charleston, South Carolina
Young boy: Look, daddy, there's the big dicks! Yesterday we saw the small dicks and today we seen the big dicks. Which do you like better, daddy, the small dicks or the big dicks?
Father: I prefer the big dicks, but don't tell your mother.
Johnson City, Tennessee
Overheard by: only if this were Victoria Secrets
Office manager, ordering markers from supply catalog: What about this one?
Receptionist: Yeah. Anything that says “magnum” must be good.
Office manager: Yep.
Receptionist: I just need something big and fat.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Female teacher: So how did the date go?
Male teacher: It went really well up until the part where I mentioned she resembled Kelsey Grammer.
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Lena
Man to friend: Hey, come over here… does this count as child porn?
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: the FBI outside suggests yes…
