Co-Worker, on phone: When were the children terminated?…Were they terminated here in Tulsa? I’ll need to see a copy of that order.
41st and Mingo
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Co-Worker, on phone: When were the children terminated?…Were they terminated here in Tulsa? I’ll need to see a copy of that order.
41st and Mingo
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Intern: When is Bush’s last term?
Employee: Um, right now. It ends in ’08.
Intern: Good. ‘Cause he’s stupid.
1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Is summer over yet?
Guy in cubicle #1: What are you doing?
Guy in cubicle #2: Looking at rivers that can kill ya!
349 Mitchell Street
Groton, Connecticut
Overheard by: Livonthedge
Library patron: Do y’all know where this book is?
Library employee: Try looking by periodicals.
Library patron: Who?
100 Decatur Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Jebediah
Elevator-Rider #1: Hey, are you still working in homicide?
Elevator-Rider #2: Nah, I left homicide a while ago. Now I’m in sexual predators. It’s great ’cause I don’t have to be on call anymore, and I have weekends free.
King County Administration Building
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: B
Girl: So I told them to just go ahead and ship the extra reports to our suppository in –
Guy: -Wait, I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you say “ship the reports to the suppository”?
Girl: Yeah…
Guy: Um, it’s “repository.” Suppositories are pills that go in your ass.
Pause.
Girl: Fuck.
Route 1 South
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily
Starbucks customer: Yes, I’d like a grande Dolce & Gabbana latte?
Extremely patient barrista: You mean a Dolce cinnamon latte?
Starbucks customer: No! I said Dolce & Gabbana, and that’s what I want!
Extremely patient barrista: I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell that here anymore.
Starbucks, Indian River Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: a smarter customer.
Warehouse worker: You look nice today. You going somewhere after this?
Girl in dress: No, I just wanted to air out my vagina.
Emeryville, California
Overheard by: warehouse peon
City editor: Do you think they give you your money back if your kid dies at Disney World?
Editor-in-Chief: No, but Mickey Mouse volunteers to be a pallbearer at the funeral.
Sports editor, in a Mickey Mouse falsetto: Hey guys, what’s in the box?
7 North Jefferson Street
Huntington, Indiana
Overheard by: tricky nikki
Corporate lawyer: What were we talking about again?
Helpful manager: One-armed lawyers.
Corporate lawyer: Ah, right. One-armed lawyers. Let me tell you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise that you don’t start losing your memory as you get older.
Polite laughter from meeting attendees.
Corporate lawyer: So. Um. What were we talking about again?
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
