Lady on phone: No, he did not get in. He did make an attempt, but things went south from there… I was wearing my skirt with the slit up the side. Nooo, you can only see somethin’ when I am sitting down… Because I am a lady.
18th and L Street NW
Washington, DC
Nurse with very thick accent: Hi, what’s your name?
Patient: Huh?
Nurse: That’s nice, can I have a urine sample?
Highland Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Woman in line at Starbucks, on cell: They stripped me, in the office, to my bra and underwear! (phone beeps) Just a minute. (switches to waiting call) Yeah? Yeah, I can get you an oatmeal.
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Buddha
Office monkey #1: Wow, there’s another hot chick walking into the building.
Office monkey #2: I know, how’d we get stuck on the floor with all the uggos?
1555 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, Virginia
Call center rep: Well, what do you do when a random person at a call center says, ‘I love you’?
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
Worker bee #1: Is that a PlayStation Three?
Worker bee #2: Yeah.
Worker bee #1: Those are hard to come by. I bet you had to beat off a lot of guys in the store to get that one.
Worker bee #2: [Silence.]
150 Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Italian musician in broken English: Excuse… Can you… wash… my instrument?
Agent: What?
Italian roadie: He wants to know if you have a cloth to clean his instrument.
Agent: Oh. Oh. Okay. God, I almost just smacked him!
Italian musician: Wash my instrument now?
Vienna
Austria
Assistant manager over speaker: Lesbian to the front please! Lesbian to the front register!
Eckerd Pharmacy Robin Hood Road
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: But my name is Leslie….
Suit: Excuse me, can you help me pick out a docking station?
IT Girl: Isn’t that a personal decision?
1700 N. Beauregard Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Employee #1: They got suspended.
Employee #2: Why?
Employee #1: They were grinding during the National Anthem.
Employee #2: Oh, how do you do that?
Employee #1: Haven’t you seen the pony commercial? You can grind to anything.
201 Recreation Drive
Bolingbrook, Illinois
