Peon on phone: No, no, I believe that you sent it. I just didn’t receive it. I even told Jen* that you wouldn’t drop the ball. You are on the ball. You are on balls I haven’t even seen yet.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: OMG
Peon on phone: No, no, I believe that you sent it. I just didn’t receive it. I even told Jen* that you wouldn’t drop the ball. You are on the ball. You are on balls I haven’t even seen yet.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: OMG
Drone #1: It’s a different texture.
Drone #2: It’s hard. I’ll suck.
Austin, Texas
HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care!
4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal
Cube monkey #1: What are you wearing to the Christmas party?
Cube monkey #2: A black dress with a santa hat.
Cube monkey #1: Very festive…and probably busty.
Cube monkey #2: Why wouldnt it be? It’s my dress.
Cube monkey #1: You could probably wear a burqa and be busty.
2300 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
CSR: Would you like to try it in your mouth?
4700 River Road
Riverdale, Maryland
Physical therapist: … So he drove all the way down here, and I didn’t even get his clothes off. We’ve just been back there talking the whole time.
1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Which kind of therapy?
Male coworker #1: I've got a Mac mini in my drawer if you want one.
Male coworker #2: That's what you say to all the ladies.
Female coworker: I'm not sure that would be very effective!
Berkeley, California
Old office assistant: Would you like a rubber finger?
Young assistant: Uhh…
Old office assistant: I'm going to give you the finger.
Towson University
Maryland
Coworker: Here you go, sir. Enjoy the show!
Drunk customer, after buying Justin Timberlake tickets: Oh, these aren’t for me, but I’ll enjoy the head I’m getting for buying these tickets.
Ticket Center, Willowbrook Mall
Wayne, New Jersey
Overheard by: Glad he didn’t come to my window
Female clerk: Did you eat yet?
Male clerk: Yeah, I’ve been here since 1:30.
Female clerk: Ooh! Then can I lint-brush you?
Convenience Store
Brighton, Massachusetts
