Male computer tech to male computer user: Hey, if you let me get between you legs I can fix that issue.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Male computer tech to male computer user: Hey, if you let me get between you legs I can fix that issue.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Woman #1: The classified logo scripts aren’t working.
Woman #2: Bob* is working on them, but he’s going on vacation tomorrow so the scripts won’t be done until September.
Woman #1: September?!
Woman #2: Yeah, well, you can have IT work on it, but then who knows how long it’ll be before they get around to doing it.
Woman #1: Think they’d do it faster if I showed them my boobs?
1111 West Bonanza Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
VP: I just completed sexual harassment training! Who’s gonna be my first victim?
Assistant: Me!
1 Glenlake Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia
Male coworker: It’s like the client is the ovum — no… No… Yes, the ovum. And my ideas are the sperm and the boss is the scrotum and the creative department is the shaft and my sperm keep on trying to get in the egg — they try and they try — and some of them are strong and good swimmers and some are, like, dormant–
Female coworker, interrupting: –Stop.
Ad agency
New York, New York
Overheard by: Dr Phyllis
Manager: Do you need these pants hemmed?
Customer: Yes
Manager: Do you have one leg that is shorter than the other, sir?
Customer: Yeah, the middle one.
3255 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl holding can of soup: Well, one can makes soup for more than one person.
Guy staring blankly: Uh-huh.
Girl: So, how many do you want to get?
Guy: I can totally see down your shirt, by the way. Now, what?
Girl: Were you listening to a word I was saying?!
Guy: No, I was staring at your breasts.
Red River H-E-B supermarket
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Natalie
Teacher: I just love children!
(silence in the room)
Teacher: Medically speaking, of course…
Hospital
New York
Overheard by: Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave now…
Managing editor on speakerphone: Do you know how to adjust columns in Excel?
Assistant: No…
Managing editor: What do you know?
Assistant: Um… I know that when a man and a woman get together, they–
Managing editor: –Come to my office.
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Manager: Okay, bitches. At this beach party I want y’all to take care of business down South. I don’t want no hairy pussy to attack me while I’m tanning. [All female coworkers nod and walk away.]
Fulton Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: coworker
Co-worker #1: What did that guy do? Why is he a prisoner?
Co-worker #2: I don’t know. I asked him, and all he said was, “It’s a long story.” Who knows? He’s probably a child molester or something.
Co-worker #3: Maybe he had sex with a horse or something.
Co-worker #1: I don’t know, I would think that would be a relatively short story. Like a one-liner.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
