Sassy Latina operations manager: Where have you been?!?! You’ve been gone for like an hour!
Spunky marketing manager: What? I was getting a bikini wax!
Sassy Latina operations manager: Oh. [pause] I *thought* your pants looked looser.
M Street, Washington DC
Man #1: I didn’t know we had brochures for this product last year.
Woman #1: Let me see. [takes it and looks over] Dude! Check out the hair on this chick’s arm!
Man #1: What?! No way! Ewww… Outsourcing stock photos from eastern Europe, for the win! Take a look! [gives it to man #2]Man #2: [looks it over, then shouts] That’s a man, baby!
Atlantic Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ang
50-something woman on Stairmaster, to personal trainer: I've got the heart of a whore, and I want the body of a virgin.
Oakland, California
Elderly overweight coworker: Yes, it was expensive to take a taxi one city block everyday, but I didn't want to get raped.
Young uncomfortable male coworker: No, I don't blame you.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a rapist
Tween girl: I wonder if these shorts will fit? I’m just going to try them on right here.
Girl’s father: Why don’t you go in a dressing room, honey? For God’s sake, have some modesty.
Tween girl: What’s modesty?
Moe’s Sport Shop
711 North University
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Coworker #1: Did you see Amy's orange and black leopard print top?
Coworker #2: Yeah.
Coworker #1: She looks like Halloween!
Coworker #2: Or a whore.
Washington, DC
Male supervisor on phone to boss: Okay, I'll do the cash out today, oh and can you bring makeup tomorrow and turn me into an old woman? (pause) Great, thanks!
Olypmic Peninsula, Washington
Overheard by: great scott
Male employee #1, at lunch, peeling a banana: So, I'm doing a detox diet, where I eat only fruit for two weeks, and a bit of meat is introduced during the third. It's rough, but I'm actually starting to feel more sprightly.
Male employee #2: I say…it really works? I should try it. I'm knackered, and I'm getting a paunch. I'd like to detox that baby from my midriff.
(thin, lovely, female coworker, clutching mug of coffee, enters lunchroom)
Male employee #2: Sophie, what do you do to keep fit? Do you eat fruit at breakfast, perhaps?
Sophie, taking sip of coffee: I believe for breakfast I had beer and chocolate biscuits.
High Holborn
London
England
Overheard by: Mr Tickle
Secretary #1: It looks nice, don’t it?
Secretary #2: Did you just say, “it looks nice, don’t it?”…Doesn’t it! I’m just trying to get us ready for the bigwigs next week!
Secretary #1: It don’t matter, sweetie.
10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Abigail Fisher
Admin #1: Ya know, for all the quirky ways about her, Susan really is adorable.
Admin #2: Oh, yay! She is very attractive, but sometimes ya just wanna smash her.
Houston, Texas
