Wouldn't a Three-way with Cougars and Dogs Be Criminal?

Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!

Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois

Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle

Posted on August 21, 2018
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Illinois, Physical Appearance, Weirdness, Words

I've Got Some Champagne in the Break Room, If You're Interested.

Guy to male coworker: Nice haircut! Damn, you're fine!

San Diego, California

Overheard by: TrixChix

Posted on July 18, 2018
California, Compliments, Coworkers, Physical Appearance

Translation: He Was Black in a White Neighborhood

News reporter #1: Why was he arrested?
News reporter #2: I guess he was suspicious-looking.
News reporter #1: Was he just going around arbitrarily replacing windshields?

Southern Maryland

Overheard by: Cubicle neighbor

Posted on July 2, 2018
Coworkers, Crimes, Default, Maryland, Physical Appearance, Questions

1PM Lunch

Secretary: You look kind of like Bill Gates.
Specialist: I don’t look dorky enough.
Secretary: How dorky do you not think you look?

25 Sigourney Street
Hartford, Connecticut

Posted on June 26, 2018
Comebacks, Connecticut, Consultants, Physical Appearance, Questions, Receptionists

George W. Gets This About Laura All the Time

Secretary squeaking loudly, about coworker's hedge: Wow! I love your bush, it's so pretty!

Perth
Australia

Overheard by: Michael

Posted on June 13, 2018
Admins, Australia, Body Parts, Compliments, Coworkers, Physical Appearance

I Can’t Wait ‘Til the Nuns Check!

Tween girl #1, going through underwear: Oh my God, so I could, like, totally get the blue ones and wear them on school spirit day!
Tween girl #2: Totally!

Victoria’s Secret
Bellevue, Washington

Overheard by: Becky

Posted on June 5, 2018
Bimbettes, Physical Appearance, Students, Washington

Left Handed?

Co-worker #1: So the new governor of New York is legally blind!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and he’s black. And he’s something else too… Blind, black… And… What else?
Co-worker #3: What else is there?

Burlington, Massachusetts

Posted on April 17, 2018
Coworkers, Dumb Employees, Insults, Massachusetts, Physical Appearance, Places, Politics, Questions, Race, Sensory Experiences, Words

Which Is Why They Leave Glitter in It

Coworker making lunch plans on the phone: Tell him not to get his hair cut til after lunch. Strippers don't care what your hair looks like!

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: B-rabbit

Posted on April 2, 2018
Advice, Employees, Georgia, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Sexuality, Weirdness

I'm under a Lot Of Pressure to Look Good.

Always medicated coworker: So John*, are you feeling better today?
John: Yes, thanks. By the way, your hair looks nice today.
Always medicated coworker: Yeah, I think it's the sinus infection.

Broadview Heights, Ohio

Overheard by: PrincessButtercup

Posted on March 31, 2018
Compliments, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Ohio, Physical Appearance, Questions

With My Dreds

Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: i just answer the phone…

Posted on March 19, 2018
Admins, Animals, California, Employees, Physical Appearance, Violence, Weirdness

Physical Appearance