Assistant: I need to lose ten pounds.
Employee: Do you exercise?
Assistant: I'll do anything to lose weight, except exercise and diet.
Santa Monica, California
Assistant: I need to lose ten pounds.
Employee: Do you exercise?
Assistant: I'll do anything to lose weight, except exercise and diet.
Santa Monica, California
Girl on cell: I had a deep conversation with my Indian today about parents, hopes and dreams. And then I yelled at him for screwing up one of the resumes I was working on.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Office drone, after colleague reacts in disgust to his loud burping: Don't be a hater.
Louisville, Kentucky
Historian: Why are we in academia?
Bio-chemist: Because we weren't good enough to join the circus.
Oxford
England
Fisherman to another: So what was the transition like from fishing to prison?
Seattle, Washington
Coworker's friend, on speakerphone: I do nothing useful in this organization, and I'm committed to continuing to do just that.
Manhattan, New York
Accounting manager to IT manager, after lengthy discussion on software solution: You're not right, but that will work.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: makes sense
Teller #1: That person smelled so bad… I thought I had stepped in poop and then I didn't see poop so I thought I was pooping and I checked!
Teller #2: What would you have done if you pulled your hand back and there was poop all over it?!
Teller #1: I ain't know, I was gonna cross that bridge when I got to it, okay?
Charleston, South Carolina
Philosopher: It's hard to whistle when you're flying.
Connecticut
Coworker #1, looking at coworker #2's plant: Horticulture and philosophy go hand in hand.
Coworker #2: Good luck with life.
Caledonia, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
