Project Manager: Wegman’s was voted the #1 company to work for in America.
Sales VP: Really?
Project Manager: Yeah. Do you know what their slogan is? “Employees first, customers second.”
Engineer: Well, we’ve been putting customers second for years!
Sales VP: Actually it’s customers second, employees third, and we don’t know what the first is.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Counselor #1: Why is it that we didn’t get a snow day today? For Christ’s sake there’s only five kids here!
Counselor #2: Because this place is a conspiracy, like the one in Hollywood.
2375 E. 23rd Street
Brooklyn, New York
Guy: …and that is why my lack of work ethic is a good thing.
1150 18th Street, NW
Washington, DC
Co-worker: You know, I would be a better employee if I had a better supervisor.
8454 Glenbrook Drive
Olmsted Township, Ohio
Overheard by: Diane Battle
Co-worker #1: How many kilometres in a mile?
Co-worker #2: 1.6.
Co-worker #1: Woo hoo! I’ve walked over a mile!
Co-worker #2: So?
Co-worker #1: Well, I’m wearing my daughter’s shoes, and now that I’ve walked a mile in them she’ll never be able to tell me I don’t understand her again.
223 George Street
Sydney, Australia
Maintenance worker: I'd rather owe a dead man 30 dollars.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Manager to another: Actually, 'due diligence' is for the unsuccessful.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sales rep, shouting at the top of her lungs on sales floor: I've never dialed into a sex line before, in all my years here.
Keene, New Hampshire
New mother from cube: Just because you're mommy dearest doesn't mean you're a bad mom.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Manager: If I break your chair, then it's broken!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Well…yeah
Plotting intern to another: Even if we make it to the White House, we do not change our name. Or our skin.
Greenville, South Carolina
