Superintendent: We all know it is wrong, but this should make it not as wrong as it is now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Superintendent: We all know it is wrong, but this should make it not as wrong as it is now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Engineer #1: Why on Earth do we have to use this?
IT worker: We’re committed to using our own solution.
Engineer #1: Yeah, I understand the dog food rationale.
Engineer #2: The problem is that it’s not dog food. It’s kitty litter.
401 Elliott Avenue West
Seattle, Washington
New coworker: My name's Dave* and my eccentricity is I like everything in paper, not plastic.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: dying a slow death here
CEO: Getting shot’s not so bad… So long as it’s for the right reason.
Park Avenue South
New York, New York
Overheard by: hiding under my desk
Professor: People never say half the things they are supposed to have said. I mean, just ask Jesus — ‘It wasn’t me, it was my flippin’ disciples.’
Queens University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
CEO: A man in my position has a high tolerance for other people’s pain.
110 E. Clayton Street
Athens, Georgia
Coworker: I am so not type A. No ambition! Woo hoo!
3811 O’Hara Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.
60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Project Manager: Wegman’s was voted the #1 company to work for in America.
Sales VP: Really?
Project Manager: Yeah. Do you know what their slogan is? “Employees first, customers second.”
Engineer: Well, we’ve been putting customers second for years!
Sales VP: Actually it’s customers second, employees third, and we don’t know what the first is.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Counselor #1: Why is it that we didn’t get a snow day today? For Christ’s sake there’s only five kids here!
Counselor #2: Because this place is a conspiracy, like the one in Hollywood.
2375 E. 23rd Street
Brooklyn, New York
