TV host: I wish they'd separate my penne and my quiche.
TV producer: I know.
West Olympic Blvd
Los Angeles, California
TV host: I wish they'd separate my penne and my quiche.
TV producer: I know.
West Olympic Blvd
Los Angeles, California
Customer #1: You know what, you could be like my informant!
Customer #2: Oh? And what would my name be?
Customer #1, looking around for an idea: Your name will be “quick and easy”!
Customer #2: Excuse me?
Customer #1: Wait! I didn't mean that!
Restaurant
Connecticut
Lunch room breaker #1: The irony is that she was the only one that knew the Heimlich maneuver, but she couldn’t do it because she was six months pregnant.
Dumb dumb: So, why couldn’t she do it?
Lunch room breaker #1: Do you know what the Heimlich maneuver is?
Pine Street
San Francisco, California
Waiter to customer: I’m sorry, but we’re out of swiss. Would you like mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: Swiss.
Waiter: No, we don’t have swiss. Do you want mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: You don’t have swiss?
Waiter: Nope, but we do have mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: That sucks!
Waiter: Yeah, I’m sorry. Would you like either mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: What other cheeses do you have?
Waiter: Mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: Don’t you have any other cheeses?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Older worker lady in lunch room: You know those hula hoops have a coating on them that makes them very slippery. They slip off your clothes and you can't keep them going. So, unless you're nude…
Remainder of lunch room: Too much information!
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy at lunch table: Now I know how to get into little kids' mouths.
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker: Yes, I ordered Italian ice from your menu…Oh, so you don’t have any more Italian ice. Hmmm, what else would I like?…Oh, you don’t have Italian ice, but you have iced tea?…um, what?
1251 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Male employee #1, at lunch, peeling a banana: So, I'm doing a detox diet, where I eat only fruit for two weeks, and a bit of meat is introduced during the third. It's rough, but I'm actually starting to feel more sprightly.
Male employee #2: I say…it really works? I should try it. I'm knackered, and I'm getting a paunch. I'd like to detox that baby from my midriff.
(thin, lovely, female coworker, clutching mug of coffee, enters lunchroom)
Male employee #2: Sophie, what do you do to keep fit? Do you eat fruit at breakfast, perhaps?
Sophie, taking sip of coffee: I believe for breakfast I had beer and chocolate biscuits.
High Holborn
London
England
Overheard by: Mr Tickle
Manager to supervisor at lunch: Hey, are you going to a movie tonight? Want some beans?
Supervisor to manager: No, thanks, they'll make me shit.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: PrayingForDeath
Client on phone, returning from lunch: What, we have a meeting now? I’ll be there in ten minutes. Is [the boss] around?
Admin: Yeah, he’s right here.
Client: Good, go kick him in the shin for me.
Admin: Um, you’re on speakerphone.
Client: I hate you! How many times have I told you never to put me on speakerphone!?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
