Receptionist, on phone: Ocean View* Escrow
Processor: Darlene* please.
Receptionist: She’s on the other line. Would you like to hold?
Processor: I’d love to.
Receptionist: Really?
Processor: Not big on sarcasm, are you?
1950 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Matt
Coworker on phone: Hi! Yes, I'm am looking for deer carcasses. I was hoping you can help me find some roadkill deer carcasses.
Virginia
Co-worker on phone: I’m sorry, can you say that again?…I’m sorry…I’m having some trouble understanding what you’re trying to say…Why don’t you have your boss call me and we can get this straightened out?
Hangs up.
Co-worker: Just go back to your motherfucking country…Christ.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Overheard by: Douchey Douchelton
Man on phone: Man I saw plenty of dogs in Shanghai, and I gotta tell you they weren't eating them!
Chinatown
Washington, DC
Boss on phone: Hey, uh, I booked a vacation with you guys and pre-paid and everything, and uh, well, (pause) I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I did some things… You know, uh-uh-uh, things you do when you are on vacation, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh… and… uh, well I overslept and missed my flight back home, so I had to buy another airline ticket and want to know if I can get some of my money back.
Richmond, Virginia
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
HR woman on phone with rep at staffing agency: I will drive over there and I will smack you; and then I will fire you in front of your peers.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anony Mouse
On the phone: I have had such a bad morning, I'm so glad to be at work now so I can just sit back and relax.
Omaha, Nebraska
Girl on phone: It’s like, ‘A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,’ but in your case, ‘A burrito, a burrito, the health of my inner ear for a burrito.’ It’s truly sad.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.
Fairfax, Virginia
