Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Boss, giving presentation: Chances are most of you in this room may or may not use this form. (everyone nods)
Helena, Montana
Overheard by: second in command
Lab manager: Well, we'll just keep the one with biggest rack.
Baltimore, Maryland
Admin #1: Do you have a current picture of the enterprise workflow?
Admin #2: Yeah, but it hasn't been updated.
Admin #1: Well, then it's current.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: kea
Teacher: You should all go back in time to where I would walk in the room and you all stand up and say, ‘Hello, Professor M*!’
Student: And women shouldn’t have the right to vote!
Newton, Massachusetts
Guy #1: Dude, can you believe breast pumps cost 350 dollars?
Guy #2, walking by: Why the hell are you looking at breast pumps?
Senior partner: There are some things you should really just not say out loud in the office, man. Come on!
Houston, Texas
Boss: Hey, are you working hard…?
Employee: Or hardly working? Wait… I mean, “yes, I'm working hard.”
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss to secretary: Can you clean your juice off my drawers?
Grandview, Ohio
Overheard by: Midnight Meat Train
Company trainer, hearing temp just dropped her phone in a flushing toilet: Let's take a break… Let's go outside and discuss this.
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: Ian
