CSR #1, complaining about trainee: All this guy keeps saying is “I'm a senior engineer; I already know what I'm doing,” and flat out refuses to listen to what I'm telling him. I mean, it's just a title, guy. Stop being a dick.
CSR #2: Oh, yeah? Well I'm a customer service representative. I don't represent shit!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Designer: We can’t afford naked people. All of those photos are rights managed. So tomorrow I’m bringing in my digital camera.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
CEO to new sales rep: Use your judgment when it comes to payment schedules. If they sound like good people — you know, like normal Americans on the phone — we’ll bill them. But Ay-rabs and Orientals pay COD. You have to watch those bastards, ’cause they’ll all fuck you.
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
Overheard by: Really glad I gave notice yesterday
Female VP: I have about three nanoseconds to get to the washroom before everything goes very wrong down there. (later, walking back into the office, announces loudly) I made it!
Toronto
Canadia
Supervisor: Go to your computer and pull up the client file you showed me earlier, the one that was wrong. I need to show it to the IT people.
Worker: I can’t because I deleted it.
Supervisor: Why did you delete it?
Worker: Because you told me to.
Supervisor: Don’t do what I tell you! Do what I say.
Franklin Square
Springfield, Illinois
Team leader: Tomorrow we're having sexual harassment training. (laughs) Jane, you can't touch Sophie.
Male coworker: They can touch me!
Melbourne, Florida
Customer service agent, ending phone call: Thank you for calling. Is there anything else you need to help us with today?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sars
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland
Office worker: Lemme forward you this e-mail from slave whore Ella*!
BDSM Production Company
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Joy
Assistant: Where are all the great shoe sales? I mean, after September 11th there were some great sales!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Can’t believe she still works here
