Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Deliveryman: I’m looking for the seventeenth floor.
Receptionist: You’re on the eighteenth floor.
Deliveryman: Where’s the seventeenth floor?
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Manager: Stop licking my window and get in here.
Maynard Avenue
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Nortea
Manager to worker on phone with customer: Tell him we ain't got a monkey, and don't know when the stock's coming in.
Hemel Hempstead
England
Overheard by: Do we sell monkeys?
Nurse #1: Do you want me to go through your legs?
Nurse #2: I can’t believe you don’t want to go through my legs to find the lower hole.
Nurse #1: Well, pull out the first one so I can see!
Nurse #2: Is it in?
Nurse #1: I don’t know, I can’t feel anything!
Nurse #2: I’m gonna pee my pants! I can’t believe there’s no one here to see this!
2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Kimmie
Coworker about manager: What would I even say to him? Let's have sex again?
6th Avenue
New York City, New York
Housing: You need to sign this form that talks about the potential risks of lead paint.
Student: Lead paint? Could that be dangerous?
Housing: No.
Student: Really?
Housing: Well, I wouldn’t lick the walls.
400 West 119th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: djlindee
Conductor #1: I found a purse back there, I'm taking it up front.
(walks through the cars)
Conductor #2 on PA: Attention passengers, if anyone has a pair of red high heels to match Alan's* new bag please see him in the first car.
MARC Train
Brunswick, Maryland
Tech #1: You're going to need to help Ann*.
Tech #2: What's wrong with Ann*?
Tech #1: Well, that's a subject for long, intense discussion… But I think she needs help with her computer.
Storrs, Connecticut
Overheard by: J.McC
Senior VP: Make sure you reserve a king size bed because there’s going to be two of us.
600 Maryland Avenue SW
Washington, DC
Man on phone: Okay. (pause) Well, can I speak to your supervisor? (pause) Hello? Can I speak to your supervisor? (pause) What's your name? (pause) Nathan? Nathan who? (pause) You there? Nathan who? (pause) Okay. Well, do you have some sort of employee number? (pause) Hello? (pause) Why? Because you're a dickhead! You're a fucking idiot, mate! (hangs up, talks to employee) Well, that didn't work.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: James
