Which Is Also Why I Don't File or Answer the Phone

Boss: Anyone want a croissant? I have some leftovers!
New hire: I don't eat croissants. I did once, I was nine, and I got a really bad headache.

Advertising Agency
Richmond, Virginia

Posted on February 17, 2015
Age and ageing, Bosses and Underlings, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Virginia

I Wondered Why My Job Description Said “Fluffer”…

Boss to coworker: Mary, please start playing with this huge package.

Medfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: But that's MY package!

Posted on February 17, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses, Coworkers, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality, Weirdness

…Little Knowing I Can Track Its Whereabouts on My IPhone

Coworker #1: Have you seen my pen?
Coworker #2: Nuh-uh.
Coworker #1: Someone has liberated my pen again.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on February 16, 2015
Coworkers, Default, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Questions, Words

And Save Some For Me

Boss who never listens: I need you to pick up the trash in the parking lot before the bank comes today.
Worker: Pork chop sandwiches!
Boss who never listens: Okay, great, let me know when you are done.

Lakewood, Washington

Posted on February 15, 2015
Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Washington

I've Been Turning Them Inside Out for Weeks Now

Banker on phone to call center (shouting): I need the washing machine and dryer installed in my house by tonight! This is completely unacceptable. Tonight! Do you understand? This isn't a debate! (now exasperated) It's an emergency: I've got no clean underwear left.

London
England

Overheard by: So many answers, so many questions

Posted on February 12, 2015
Clothes, Financial Folk, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, London, Offers and requests, On the phone

He Gets Smarter When He Drinks

Frat boy: Gimme something like a whiskey sour but dont put Jack Daniels or anything like that in it. I dont like whiskey!
Bartender: Well what you want in it instead of whiskey?
Frat boy: Use Jim Beam, I fucking love Jim Beam!

Evolution Nightclub
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Melvin

Posted on February 11, 2015
Blue Collar, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Ohio, Substance Use & Abuse

I Think I've Seen This Workplace Harassment Video…

Female employee to male boss: Show me what seven inches looks like.

Kanata North
Canadia

Posted on February 8, 2015
Canadia, Employees, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality

Amanda Hugginkiss Had Responded and Was Befuddled by the Accusation

Manager: We’ve noticed that you haven’t responded to the anonymous survey. We’d like your feedback as soon as possible.

32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Posted on February 4, 2015
Bosses, Lies, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Philosophy

Now That I’ve Talked to You Verbally

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

Posted on February 3, 2015
Bosses, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Internet, Offers and requests, Technology, Texas

Tonight's Movie: The Phantom Of the Performance Review

Account manager, yelling across the hall: He needs you to bring more photo paper, and black ink.
PR exec, yelling back: A black cape?
Account manager: No, ink!
PR exec: A cape?
Account manager: He wants ink!
PR exec: Why does he want a cape?

London
Canadia

Posted on January 31, 2015
Bosses, Canadia, Clothes, Colors, Executives, Financial Folk, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

Offers and requests